


I'm Ready for the Worst

by lululawrence



Category: BBC Radio 1 RPF, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Banter, Canon Compliant, Closeted Character, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Flirting, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Grief/Mourning, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, It's all weed nothing more I promise, Light Angst, M/M, Miscommunication, No Smut, Pining, Recreational Drug Use, Secret Relationship, Sharing a Bed, famous/famous
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:49:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 26,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26185210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lululawrence/pseuds/lululawrence
Summary: From the moment Greg had met the One Direction lads, he’d known they had something special. They were charismatic, incredibly talented, and self-deprecating in the most endearing way.But Louis. Louis wasmore.Greg had never been able to put a finger on what it was exactly, but he’d been enthralled and hooked from the first moment he’d seen his bright smile and flamboyant mannerisms. Not that it mattered, what with Louis immediately falling into Grimmy’s orbit.Through it all, his dirty little crush he could never, ever admit to was on the secretly gay boybander that was also the boyfriend and eventual ex of one of his closest friends. It was fine. It was nothing. It would never be anything.Until, one spring night in 2018, it suddenly was.
Relationships: Greg James/Louis Tomlinson, Nick Grimshaw/Louis Tomlinson (past)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 71
Collections: 1D Dick Prints & Grey Sweatpants, Louis and Men Fest





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> My heart's song, Grouis. *fans self* I've always wanted a longer, plot-centric Grouis fic. Finally got up off my ass and did it myself. I hope you like it as much as I do.
> 
> Thank you to my betas [Lynda](https://wait4ever.tumblr.com) and [Nic](https://louandhazaf.tumblr.com) and brit pick [Chelle](https://aslowmotionaccident.tumblr.com), who were amazing and I so very much adore them!
> 
> Please note that while this fic is technically canon compliant, I did leave some things vague and slightly shifted some details, but please allow me this indulgence for my fic baby I brainstormed last year and finally was able to bring alive this summer. :D
> 
> Title from Panic Room by Camelphat. This is absolutely a work of fiction and not at all implying I know anything about the people represented therein. Please don't share this with anyone associated to those represented in the fic, and please don't repost or translate without my express permission. Thank you!

**Part 1 - Greg**

From the moment Greg had met the One Direction lads, he’d known they had something special. They were charismatic, incredibly talented, and self-deprecating in the most endearing way.

But Louis. Louis was  _ more. _

Greg had never been able to put a finger on what it was exactly, but he’d been enthralled and hooked from the first moment he’d seen his bright smile and flamboyant mannerisms.

Not that it mattered, what with Louis immediately falling into Grimmy’s orbit. Because of course he did. Greg couldn’t even blame him. Grimmy was one of those people that was loved or hated, and with Louis it was definitely love. They fought like crazy, but they made up even harder and Greg watched on as it happened.

The issue was that the longer Louis and Grimmy were together, the harder the closet itself became for Louis. Management forced several things upon him, and Greg could tell it was hard for him, but it was hard for Grimmy too. It made sense that it would affect both of them, but it was particularly hard for Grimmy, especially after he came out. He’d had to pretend like he wasn’t in a relationship with anyone the entire time he and Louis were together, although in the end he would occasionally refer to a mysterious boyfriend without ever naming him or giving many specifics.

That was close to the end, though. Eventually the closet became too much and it all crumbled. Greg felt awful seeing how hard it was on Grimmy, and he did what he could to support him through it. They became much closer during those months, Greg very much taking on the role of Grimmy’s work mum, even with their schedules being quite different.

Through it all, his dirty little crush he could never, ever admit to was on the secretly gay boybander that was also the ex of one of his closest friends. Greg knew nothing would come of it, and was fine with that. He still smiled whenever he saw Louis was trending on Twitter and he would even occasionally save a particularly good photo he found of him. It was fine. It was nothing. It would never be anything.

Until, one spring night in 2018, it suddenly was.

\- - - -

Greg finished up his set and passed the proverbial baton to the last DJ of the night. He loved working charity events like this where there was a combination of people from various backgrounds and histories. It made it so much fun to see a different mixture of people than he often got. He didn’t mind hanging out after his set was done on nights like this. He loved talking to everyone, dancing and drinking and having a good time.

Greg had already been approached by a few people who said they’d like to talk to him some more if possible after his set was done, and he was excited to get to do so. He headed to the bar to grab a drink and then planned to see if he could find the teen who had expressed an interest in radio.

“Greg James, it’s been a long time.”

Confused, Greg turned quickly and was surprised to find Louis Tomlinson.

Greg blinked quickly, trying to pull himself together enough to hold an actual conversation with him. He’d known Louis was attending the event earlier in the evening, but hadn’t expected him to hang around at the afterparty and therefore hadn’t adequately prepared himself to come into contact with Louis decked out in a suit with his Peaky Blinders haircut.

“Louis! Yeah, it’s been a few years, hasn’t it?” 

Louis opened his arms and leaned in for a quick hug. He always had been a hugger, and Greg loved that about him usually. He was a bit sweaty after being under the lights, working for a few hours, though, and he could only pray his deodorant had held up adequately.

Leaning over, Greg noticed fondly that Louis rose up onto his tip-toes to reach over his shoulders. He wished his heart wouldn’t race from being this close to him, but he could smell baby powder and mint gum, which didn’t help anything. He was touching Louis, seeing him, smelling him for the first time in a very long time. His body didn’t know how to react.

Louis finally spoke, breaking Greg out of his inner freak out.

“It’s been too long, that’s for sure.”

Greg released his hold on him and pulled back, but was pleased to find that Louis didn’t step back, instead he kept them close. 

“So what have you been up to, Gregory?” Louis asked, smiling. “You want to go get your drink? I’ll keep you company as you do, if you’d like.”

“Sure, thanks,” Greg said, turning back to the bar as Louis fell into step beside him, still keeping close. “Can I get you anything?”

“Nah, nah. I’ll probably grab a drink or two at the very end, but I try not to have much if anything at events like these. Don’t want to get sloppy or anything.” Louis grinned and gave Greg a wink that went right to his belly, waking up the butterflies that had lain dormant since the last time he’d seen him. Fuck, why was Greg’s body betraying him like this?

Greg ordered his drink and once he had the beer in hand, he turned back to Louis. “So what have you been up to lately? I mean, I’ve seen a tweet here or there about your album. That coming along alright, then?”

Louis grimaced, rocking back onto his heels. “Yeah, yeah, I mean…” he drifted off, looking at the wall behind Greg before finally meeting his eyes and speaking again. “It’s a process, to be sure. Different from how it used to be, you know? So just taking my time and really working out how I want it done.”

“Yeah, it’s your first solo album, it’s a big deal,” Greg said, widening his eyes. “I can feel the gravity of it just saying that out loud.”

Louis pursed his lips and looked at the floor as he nodded. “Yeah, it’s pretty massive thinking about it like that, which I honestly try not to if I can help it.”

“It is,” Greg agreed. It was then he looked over Louis’ shoulder and saw the girl who wanted to talk about radio presenting hovering and looking unsure if she should interrupt. Greg smiled at her and waved her over. “Hey, there were a few people I wanted to try to talk to before it gets too late. I’m sure they’d love to talk to you too, but are you planning to hang around?”

Louis nodded. “Yeah, yeah I can do. I won’t stick close, though. Don’t want to put a damper on your conversations. Hello, there.”

Louis smiled at the girl, and Greg couldn’t fault her for blushing and giggling as she waved. “Hi, Louis. Nice to meet you. I loved your song with Bebe Rexha.”

“Oh, thanks, love. That means a lot,” Louis said, smiling genuinely at her. “Listen, I’ll let you have your chat with Gregory here. I’ll find you later, yeah?”

Greg nodded, and watched Louis turn and walk away before he was pulled into another conversation. Sure Louis was just being nice about finding him later, Greg let out a small sigh before happily turning to the girl waiting for his attention.

\- - - -

“You’re a hard man to get alone.”

Greg froze as soon as he heard the raspy voice behind him.

“Am I?” he asked, turning to find Louis standing there, hands in his pockets. He wasn’t wearing a coat and it was quite cold out. Greg was just happy there wasn’t anyone there trying to take photos of everyone leaving.

“Yeah, quite the man of the hour,” Louis said with a smile. “What do you say to coming over to mine, having a drink and a catch up?”

Greg schooled his face in an attempt to keep the shock from showing. There was no way he’d ever say no to Louis, but particularly when it came to spending more time with him.

“Sure. My car’s this way… do you have a car waiting for you?” 

Louis shook his head slowly. “Hadn’t called one yet. Was waiting to talk to you.”

Smiling and hoping his blush didn’t show in the dark, Greg gestured towards the car park. “Well, I’ve no idea where a fancy man like you lives, but I’m more than willing to chauffeur you there, especially if you’re promising drinks.”

Louis laughed and happily followed Greg to the car. Greg prayed Barney hadn’t left too big a mess inside as he hadn’t bothered to clean up after him and he hadn’t been anticipating any pop stars with their fancy suits that likely were worth more than Greg’s car would be riding with him.

Greg was surprised when Louis didn’t start any conversation himself, choosing instead to keep quiet and just give quiet directions as Greg drove. They hummed along to the music playing in the background, otherwise allowing each other to just relax and enjoy their presence.

He would have expected it to be awkward with anyone else. Greg doesn’t exactly do  _ quiet _ very well. With Louis, though, it felt natural for them to just sit and enjoy the music.

When Greg pulled up to the house Louis indicated, he couldn’t help the whistle of surprise. 

“You can pull around to the back,” Louis instructed quietly. 

“So this is how the rest of us live,” Greg teased.

“Fuck off.” Louis laughed, and Greg knew he needed to make sure Louis continued laughing. He felt he was fairly good at that, silliness was a trademark of his for his show, so hopefully he’d be able to do so with Louis. “It’s not that big.”

Greg parked and then looked at Louis in amazement. “Yeah, maybe not compared to Beyonce’s complex in California.”

Louis shook his head and rolled his eyes. “Are you coming in or not?”

“I’m definitely coming in. Only time I’ll get to see something this fancy, I’m sure.”

“You’re going to be incredibly disappointed when you get inside,” Louis said, opening the door and gesturing for Greg to enter first.

Greg wasn’t sure what he’d expected, but it wasn’t really what he found. He’d expected modern decor, bold colors, and awards lining the walls. There was the occasional award, but they were often tucked away with other knick knacks in such a way that they didn’t stick out at all. The place actually felt… homey. 

“Love the fairy lights,” Greg said as he pointed towards a few of the windows that had them lining the area. 

Louis scrunched his nose and muttered a quiet, “Thanks.” 

Greg slid his shoes off and hung his coat on the rack by the door before following Louis to his kitchen. 

“I’ve got some of those frozen cocktail things as well as some beer and a few bottles of wine. Have a preference?”

“I’d kill for a glass of wine,” Greg admitted. He’d only had the one beer earlier in the night, and sitting down with a nice glass of wine now sounded like heaven.

“Here’s what I’ve got,” Louis said, opening a cabinet before walking to pull some wine glasses from another. “Go ahead and choose one that sounds good, get it airing out, yeah? I’m just going to change into something else.”

Greg swallowed and nodded. He figured if the wine had been purchased by Louis then he couldn’t go wrong, but he also was a little worried he’d pick something Louis wouldn’t like and ruin it all. 

Taking a deep breath to steady himself, reminding himself that Louis was the one who invited him over for a drink and a catch up, he started looking at the options.

He couldn’t help laughing. He’d expected some fancy labels, maybe something he’d heard of or not, but instead what he found was a fairly run of the mill collection. He wasn’t sure why he’d expected anything different. Louis had never given off the vibe of someone who had fancy taste. He just hadn’t expected Louis’ wine taste to be exactly the same as his.

Pulling out a bottle of his favourite wine that had a pretty design on the cork, Greg got to work opening it and pouring both of them healthy amounts to start aerating. He was just sticking the cork back into the bottle when Louis came walking back into the kitchen.

“Oh, you chose my favourite,” he said with approval.

Greg smiled and turned around before nearly choking on his tongue. How was Louis able to wear a pair of grey joggers and a faded t-shirt and make it look that sinful? They hugged his frame in a way that left Greg wanting to trace his silhouette. 

Clearing his throat, Greg turned back to the wine and picked up the glasses. Handing one to Louis he said, “It’s my favourite as well. Kind of spicy almost.”

“Exactly,” Louis said. Nodding behind him, he said, “Come on. Let’s sit somewhere comfortable. Wanna bring the rest of the bottle, though?”

“Not sure we should if you want me to have a chance of being able to drive myself home,” Greg said, laughing as he grabbed the bottle.

“Who said I wanted you to go home?” Louis asked, arching a brow.

Greg nearly tripped over the rug that was centered in the living room Louis had guided him to.

“Don’t you?” Greg asked, surprised. 

Shrugging, Louis said, “Maybe. Maybe not.”

Then, knowing  _ exactly _ the power of the move, Louis tilted his head down towards his wine glass before glancing up at Greg through his eyelashes.

Fuck.

Swallowing harshly, Greg’s cheeks flamed as he gave a small smile. He felt like he usually had at least  _ some _ game, but Louis made him lose every flirting skill he’d ever attained. 

“So,” Greg said, clearing his throat with the intention to change the topic. He had no idea how to address Louis flirting with him, so he might as well bring up something safer and maybe once he got some wine in his system he could loosen up enough to flirt with him. He sat down and took a sip, never finishing his thought.

“So…” Louis teased, smirking.

Greg rolled his eyes. “I can talk shit to the entirety of Great Britain, but apparently I can’t keep a conversation going with you.”

Louis hummed, nodding. “Yes, I do believe that was the exact reason I was given for never doing an interview with you.”

Greg scoffed, offended. “It was not!”

“No, you’re right, it’s because I’m too big a name for the  _ Drive Time Show _ ,” Louis teased, cheeks pinkening as he took another sip.

“That was incredibly rude and I won’t stand for it,” Greg said, shifting his position to straighten his shoulders and putting some of his elocution lessons to use. He relaxed back into the couch cushions and took another drink. “Honestly, though, I think you’re probably right and I’m man enough to admit it. We’re nowhere near good enough for Louis Tomlinson. Only the  _ Breakfast Show _ for you.”

Louis pursed his lips and nodded slowly, and Greg could have smacked himself. He’d said it thinking more about how he’d been in talks for weeks now to take over the _ Breakfast Show _ , not that the current host was one of Greg’s good friends and Louis’ ex.

“Fuck, I’m sorry, I just…”

“No, it’s fine,” Louis said, smiling gently at him. “I didn’t mean what I said about your show, though. You know that, right?”

Greg took a deep breath and puffed his cheeks out a bit to get Louis chuckling softly. “Yeah, I know.”

“Good.”

They sat in silence for a moment, both drinking the wine faster than they had been up to that moment.

“More?” Louis asked after finishing his glass already. 

Greg shrugged and followed suit. “Sure.”

The wine flowed after that and they quickly finished the bottle and opened a second. 

“Fucking hell,” Greg moaned with a giggle, slumping over so he could lean his head against the overstuffed cushions beside him. “I love this wine, but it doesn’t hit right away, and suddenly it’s like I’ve been hit by a train. An alcohol train.”

“Too right,” Louis said, chuckling as he slid down against the arm of the couch, shoving his feet into Greg’s lap. “That’s half the fun of it. When’s it gonna hit? How hard is it going to? Would it be better or worse with some weed?”

“Oh God,” Greg mumbled, gripping onto Louis’ ankle before he moved his foot too close to Greg’s more sensitive regions. “Adding weed would be a very bad idea for me right now. Maybe another night, though.”

“Running low anyway,” Louis said with a sigh. 

Silence fell between them and Greg was really regretting sitting the way he was but didn’t want to move and have to let go of Louis’ foot. He really liked Louis’ feet. Fucking weird thing to like, but Greg felt incredibly warm from the wine, and Louis’ cold foot was helping him keep ahold of reality at the moment. Maybe. God, the wine was really doing a number on him tonight.

“I think I’d quite like you to fuck me.”

Greg froze. Did he just imagine Louis saying that? He slowly raised his eyes from where he’d been watching his hands stroke the ankle bones on both of Louis’ feet to see his eyes.

Unfortunately, Louis had his eyes closed with one arm slung across his eyes, and that didn’t give too much away.

“Stop staring at me, I can feel your heavy thoughts,” Louis said. “I’m for real, though. Not tonight. Think I’d prefer a simple hand job, maybe a good blow job or something, but yeah. Bet you’ve got a great cock. Think you probably know how to use it, too. Don’t you?”

“I… uh…”

“Don’t get shy now, you’ve literally made a music video pretending to be Miley Cyrus wearing nothing more than lipstick,” Louis said, lifting his arm and leaning his head forward so he could see Greg. “I know you’re not shy about your body, so?”

“I’m not sure I’m a great judge on my own dick, but I’d like to think I know how to use it well enough.”

“Modest fucker,” Louis said, shaking his head. He sat up and moved a little closer to Greg. “Fine. Bet you’d let me blow you, though. Right?”

Greg forced himself to swallow and nodded. Yes. He’d love that very much a lot.

“Excellent. This way.”

And with that, Greg followed Louis back to his bedroom. 

\- - - -

Greg’s head was pounding and he needed to take a piss more than he ever remembered needing one. How was it even possible for him to need to piss this badly? Had he ever used the bathroom before in his life, or had it simply been building up for all of his thirty-two years? 

Groaning, he shifted and made a note to himself that he should buy more sheets like what he had on his bed right now. He’d never felt anything so soft in his life and he deserved the softest sheets always.

Greg barely opened his eyes as he got out of bed and slowly padded his way to the left towards the bathroom.

Except the bathroom wasn’t there, a large wardrobe was.

“Fuck,” Greg muttered before looking around a bit more. Right. He was at Louis’ house. Because he learned that Louis was even better in bed than he’d ever expected him to be, oh God.

Before he could even begin to think all of this through, he really needed to have a wee. He used the bathroom before passing out last night, he knew he could find it himself again. It was bloody well attached to the room, if he remembered correctly.

Greg stumbled into the bathroom and leaned his hand against the wall as he focused on his aim. Didn’t want to make a mess of an international pop star’s bathroom floor.

Once he’d gotten back to the bedroom, he saw Louis sitting on the bed, swigging a bottle of water.

“Got one for you too,” Louis said, motioning to the bottle of water sitting on the nightstand beside the side Greg had slept on. “Some paracetamol too.”

“I bloody well love you,” Greg said, heading immediately for the water. He was so fucking thirsty.

“Was thinking of ordering in some food,” Louis said as he scrolled his phone. “It’s lunch time now, and I’m wanting something greasy. And something caffeinated. Fuck, I want Starbucks.”

Greg nodded but focused on downing the entire bottle of water. Once he had, he took a deep breath and let himself fall back onto the bed.

“This is the best bed I think I’ve ever experienced in my whole fucking life. It must have cost you a fortune.” It was only then that Greg remembered the sheets. “Where’d you get your sheets?”

“The fuck?” Louis said chuckling. “Think I got them as a gift from my sister or something, but I can ask if you’d like.”

“They’re so soft,” Greg hummed, rubbing his hand along the cool fabric. “Breakfast. Where you ordering from?”

“Starbucks for caffeine. Probably just the cafe down the street for actual food.”

“You legitimately order in coffee? You can’t just go and get it yourself?” Greg asked, skeptically.

“Of course I could. And normally I do. But I’m still feeling all loose and good in addition to the headache, and I just don’t wanna do it right now, so I’ll tip them fucking well and get it that way.” Louis squinted at Greg and then asked, “What are your thoughts on adding espresso to a steeped tea?”

Greg scrunched his nose. “Sounds fucking disgusting.”

Louis pursed his lips before nodding and looking back at his phone. “So, you want me to get you something?”

Greg gave his requests for both his coffee and breakfast before he rolled onto his front and looked around the floor where he thought he’d dropped his clothes last night. 

“Studying the floor?” Louis asked, laughing. “Food should be here soon enough.”

“I’m trying to find my clothes,” Greg said. “Didn’t I just toss them on the floor?”

“Your trousers nearly killed me so I moved them there,” Louis pointed to the corner on the other side of the room. Greg suddenly didn’t want to get back up for them over there.

“Oh. Well. I could just cover myself with your duvet.”

Louis sputtered and got off the bed. “Just use some of my joggers. They’ll look like shorts on your long legs and be perfectly comfortable, I’m sure.”

“I’m not  _ that _ tall,” Greg countered, catching the worn fabric when Louis threw them at him. “I’m sure they’ll go below my knees. More like capris. I could bring those back into popularity, I’m sure.”

“I’m sure,” Louis agreed, smiling. 

Louis offered him a soft t-shirt as well and as they both got dressed and ready for breakfast—or lunch as it were—to be delivered, Greg realised that he and Louis were laughing and having a good time together as if nothing had happened the night before. It was nowhere near the awkward morning after he had been anticipating, and he was glad. He was  _ so _ glad. But what did it all mean?

The rest of the afternoon continued as it had started, the two of them talking, flirting, and bantering back and forth as they ate and played video games.

It was as Greg was leaving, wearing his clothes from the night before, that Louis handed his phone to Greg.

Arching his brow, Greg looked down and saw it was open to add a new contact. “You want my number, Tomlinson?”

Louis shrugged. “Sure. Had a good time, yeah?”

Greg nodded and quickly added his information. “Yeah. Text me so I have yours, alright?”

“Sure,” Louis said, smirking. “Have a good rest of your weekend.”

“Thanks. You too.” Greg smiled and tried to take in the full scene before he had to go. It was probably the one and only time he’d get to have a moment like this with Louis, and he had to enjoy it for what it was.

He gave a quick wave after he’d committed as much as he could to memory without being creepy, and then walked out to his car.

Once he was alone, he switched off the music and made his way home in silence, trying to take in everything the last twenty-four hours had brought him. 

He’d had such a great time with Louis and they’d exchanged numbers, but Louis hadn’t made it clear what he wanted it for. There was the slight possibility that he’d asked for it to act on what he’d said the night before. He said he wanted Greg to fuck him, and Greg would never say no to that opportunity, but Louis had also been quite drunk. Greg was also sure Louis could find plenty of other people who were more to his standards. Yes, last night probably was a one time offer.

As Greg parked his car once he got home, he looked and saw a text already waiting from Louis. It wasn’t much, just a single emoji, but it gave him hope that maybe, possibly it could happen again.

Then his phone buzzed with a photo from Grimmy. It was the current pricing for gammon at Sainsbury, which made Greg laugh, but it also made him realise the issue he was currently in. 

It was perfectly fine to pine after Louis from afar when nothing was actually going to come of it. But now something had… should he tell Grimmy? If it was a one time thing, he really didn’t think he’d need to, but at the same time, he hoped it would be more. 

If it did turn out to be more, should Greg tell him? They were good friends and he knew that Grim had a really tough time doing the interview with Louis on the Breakfast Show, but it had been another couple of years since then so hopefully he was doing better now all around. It didn’t mean he’d handle the news well that the man who helped him through the breakup was now dating his ex.

Greg sighed. For now he didn’t know if it was going anywhere. It seemed safest to just let things come together as they might and deal with it later if it turned out that Louis really did want something more than just the night. 

Heaven knew Greg would take whatever Louis was willing to give, and if it was the one night he would still count himself lucky. If it was more, then he’d be even more so and would deal with whatever else might come at that point.

Plan in place, Greg headed inside, ready to get back to life.

\- - - -

Greg had hoped that Louis would reach out to him, but he wasn’t sure he actually expected it. In fact, if he was being entirely honest with himself, he definitely expected for him to just pretend the night had never happened and delete the contact from his phone. When Louis did the exact opposite and started chatting with him on WhatsApp a couple of days later, Greg was incredibly surprised and pleased.

That said, they were busy men. The announcement had finally happened regarding Greg and Grimmy switching radio shows, and honestly Greg’s entire life had turned into meeting after meeting after meeting. If he’d known he maybe would have put off this decision.

That was a lie. The Breakfast Show on Radio 1 had been his dream for years and he was incredibly lucky to have the opportunity, even if it did mean changing so much of the rhythm he’d built for himself over the past several years.

Louis had been busy as well. He was still writing and recording, attending his own meetings, and then doing X Factor mentoring and such on top of it all. Greg was very impressed. It seemed to him like Louis managed to eek more time out of a single day than Greg was able to do with a week. 

Despite the two of them being so busy they didn’t manage to find time to get together, Greg felt like the day wasn’t complete without talking to Louis in some fashion. They texted almost nonstop and even spoke on the phone at least every other day. Greg had never been a phone talker. Yet, with Louis, he was. It was fascinating to see the changes within himself already.

Now, though. Now Greg was hiding with Grimmy in a small room in the upper floors of a building in Liverpool, asking the Radio 1 listeners everywhere to find them. Louis had heard fairly quickly what was going on, and had texted Greg before they’d even gotten inside the building. 

This had brought Greg to a point of no return. Did he tell Grimmy that he’d struck a friendship of sorts with his ex? Did he lie? If he lied, what should he say if Grimmy asked who he was busy texting?

When Louis did nothing more than ask a few questions, call him a few names, and then send him a selfie of Louis flipping him off before getting back to work himself, Greg decided he’d just let it be. If Grimmy asked, then Grimmy asked and he’d take it from there.

“Think we should play Camelphat again?” Grimmy asked. “Shit, I did something wrong. Annie!”

Greg looked over and heard Annie laughing in the background. 

“What the fuck are you two up to now?” Annie asked, sounding amused. “You two have this place in some kind of state. Jordan is literally ready to run about anywhere if he thinks he can find you.”

“Awww, you hear that, Greg?” Grimmy asked, turning partway to look at Greg with a silly smile. “Jordan’s so concerned he’s willing to drive anywhere!”

“It is heartwarming, really,” Greg said, smiling. “What did you fuck up before Annie rang in?”

“I think Grim gave the lead in for the wrong song,” Annie said laughing. “The buttons are the same where you are, aren’t they? Or has that much changed for you?”

“Fuck off, I hate you,” Grimmy said primly. 

Greg was still laughing as Grimmy welcomed the listeners back and introduced Annie as joining in with her show starting soon. A summary of the day’s events was given, and then Annie took over, finally allowing Greg and Grimmy to look over at their production staff that were dragged into all of this with them to figure out dinner.

“Well, we weren’t exactly thinking it would go this long,” Grace said, looking at James. “But we’re near a few food options, so we could have one of us run out and get the food, but it is looking like you will need sleeping arrangements.”

Greg’s eyes widened as he turned to Grimmy. “Oh my God, we’re not getting out of this tonight, are we?”

Grimmy looked about as surprised by this development as Greg was. “I never even considered this…” he trailed off.

“Okay, so let’s figure out food and then we can work on sleep.”

By the time it was eleven that night, Nick and Greg had been smuggled out of the building and found some sleeping space for all of them. There were still meetings to be had considering not a single person involved with the planning for this anticipated Hide and Seek lasting longer than a few hours, so by the time they were finally laying down to get some sleep, it was half one.

“Gregory, turn your bloody phone off and get to sleep,” Grimmy mumbled from the other side of the bed. 

“Fuck off, you were on yours until a second ago and I still have a few people to answer.”

In truth, Greg only had one person left to answer. Louis. The rest of his friends had stopped texting him when they realised he wasn’t going to tell him anything about where he was. Louis, though, kept laughing openly at their blunders and making his own guesses in between various things of his own.

_ Louis: With as daft as the two of you are, I cannot believe you haven’t been found yet _

Greg rolled his eyes.

_ Greg: Yes, well you’ve been trying all day and have yet to guess correctly as well, so who’s the daft one here? _

Thumbing out of WhatsApp, Greg pulled up Twitter and began to scroll his mentions. The tags were hilarious with everyone guessing they were anywhere from Glasgow to Ibiza. 

“Wish we were in Ibiza,” Greg muttered to himself.

_ Louis: I hate you.  _ _   
_ _ Louis: So have you two found a place to sleep then? _

Greg shifted on the bed so the light from his phone wouldn’t shine on Grimmy as well as being so helpful in shielding Grimmy from being able to read that Greg was currently talking to Louis.

_ Greg: Yeah, we were able to pull something together last minute _ _   
_ _ Greg: Should get to sleep though. Grim was nearly sleepwalking by the time we got here thanks to his early start this morning and we still had meetings before we could rest _

_ Louis: Fuck, I didn’t even think about how early he was up _ _   
_ _ Louis: Then why are you still awake? You should get rest too. I assume you’ll be on with him for brekkie _

Sighing, Greg checked the time. Near two, now. They had to be up in about two and a half hours in order to grab some early breakfast and be smuggled back into the building before anyone working there would realise what was going on.

_ Greg: Yeah, probably _ _   
_ _ Greg: What are you still doing up anyway _

_ Louis: Just having a smoke after doing some writing. About to go to bed myself. _

Louis sent through a dark selfie, cigarette in his mouth and yet still somehow showing off his cheekbones. It was entirely unfair how gorgeous he was all the time.

Scrubbing at his own prickly cheeks before swiping at his eyes, Greg cleared his throat quietly and decided to just wish Louis a good night. He really did need to sleep, and with the visual he’d just be sent, he was likely to dream of Louis. There could be worse things.

_ Greg: Alright. Night then. _

Greg attached a selfie of his own, just a completely black rectangle, and put his phone on do not disturb before he fell easily into a deep sleep.

\- - - -

Greg had never been so happy to be home and able to shower. Hide and Seek had been fun, but his need to be clean right now rivaled that of when he did Sport Relief. At least that had been for a good cause. This had just been a ridiculous imagining that he and Grim had lobbed at Big Boss Ben in passing and months later finally came to fruition. 

They really should have thought it through a bit more.

All the same, it had been a huge success and early numbers indicated the big wigs at the station would be more than willing to let Greg have a bit more rein when he started on the Breakfast Show because of it. He was already coming up with ideas for other things to do.

Half delirious with lack of sleep, Greg dragged himself into his shower and contemplated a bath. It was probably a very bad idea considering how exhausted he was. He’d likely fall asleep and drown, all before ever being able to even debut on the Breakfast Show.

They’d finally been found near the end of Scott and Chris’ show, but Greg’s Drivetime slot still needed to be filled, so Greg and Grimmy continued celebrating and banging the gong and such all the way until seven. He was incredibly pleased with being able to pass the baton then to Annie and get the fuck home.

It was now near midnight and he and Grim had managed small naps on the floor of the room they’d been hiding in between giving weather reports and other stupid things they’d come up with as “clues”, but the three hours of sleep the night before and those random kips had not been enough.

Greg dried off and walked to his bed. Pausing, he considered bedclothes, but couldn’t be arsed. It was too much effort and he was dead on his feet. He did make sure his phone and charger were plugged in, though, with an alarm set so he could still have time for a quick jog at the park before work tomorrow afternoon. 

He was laid out on his bed and finally ready to pass out when his phone vibrated with a message. There were only three people he had set to have their messages and calls show up even while the phone was set to do not disturb, and his mum and dad certainly weren’t texting him at this hour.

_ Louis: You home safe and sound, then? _

Greg couldn’t help smiling as he swiped to unlock his phone. 

_ Greg: Finally. Feels like ages since I’ve slept in my own bed! Years! Eons, even! How do you survive whilst touring? _

Locking his phone, Greg shuffled under his light blanket he used in the summer and tried to close his eyes and get to sleep before the next message came through.

He failed. Mostly because Louis responded quickly, but also because ever since he saw Louis’ name on his screen, Greg had felt more alert.

_ Louis: Well aren’t we a drama queen _ _   
_ _ Louis: And I survive by making it as close to home as possible, but also when you’re consistently as exhausted as I am while on tour, you stop caring so much about the surfaces you’re sleeping on _ _   
_ _ Louis: Plus, not all of us are freaking giants like you that probably require special beds to accommodate our size _

Greg scoffed and shuffled a little in the bed. Louis might be right in his accusation, it was only a month ago Greg had publicly complained that the bed he was sleeping in on holiday left at least six inches of him just hanging off the end, but that had no need to be brought up now.

_ Greg: How very dare you bring up such issues that I cannot control! _

Louis sent back a middle finger emoji but surprisingly kept typing. It had been a couple of months now that they’d been chatting, yet he still wasn’t used to it. He kept expecting Louis to realise he was leagues above Greg before finally just dropping off the face of the earth and never talking to him again.

_ Louis: I was actually asking if you were home for a reason though _ _   
_ _ Louis: Up for a visitor? _

Greg blinked at his phone, eyebrows furrowed. That almost sounded like Louis was out there waiting for him to open his door or something. That couldn’t be right, could it? He quickly climbed out of bed, threw on the first clothes he could find, and started rushing to his front door as he typed. 

_ Greg: Depends on the visitor, if I’m honest… _

He sent it right as he reached the door, which he unlocked and opened before rushing down the steps to the outer door. He opened it a small bit and peeked outside to find a figure on the front porch.

“Louis?”

Louis’ head shot up from where he was looking at his phone, nose scrunched. “Hey. Too late?”

“No, course not. Come in, though.” 

Louis stepped inside and they made their way to Greg’s flat in silence. Once they were in his space again, Greg wasn’t sure what to do. He wasn’t used to having celebrities— especially celebrities he spoke to on a regular basis and had hooked up with once— at home. At work, of course. A DJ gig? Sure. But home? Absolutely not.

“Was expecting some more cricket gear, if I’m honest,” Louis said, smirking at Greg. “I’m actually quite impressed.”

Greg laughed, surprised, and put his hands on his hips. “Excuse you, I’m not sure if I should be saying thank you or not when that’s the kind of compliment you’re handing out.” 

“Not what I meant and you know it,” Louis said, kicking off his shoes so he could walk in further. “Wanna give me a tour of the place?”

That got Greg’s mind whirring. Why  _ was _ Louis here at this hour? Was it just for some last minute booty call? Not that Greg particularly minded, but he really was quite knackered. Then again, he hadn’t been with anyone since the last time he’d slept with Louis…

“Well, to the left is the kitchen. Here you can see my living room, and if you follow me down this hall you’ll find the ever so decadent bathroom— including a full and deep bathtub!— and my very much not exciting bedroom. You know, where  _ all _ the magic happens,” Greg said, waggling his eyebrows. 

“Ooh, all the magic?” Louis asked, mocking Greg’s tone. “You must be absolutely fighting off all the men and women. I’m just lucky you found time for me in your schedule of rotating lovers.”

Greg laughed, perhaps a little too loudly. His cheeks were burning red, but he’d never been one for hiding the truth, so he went ahead and just said what he was thinking. “Oh yes. Very exciting, my love life. Just last week I had to toss some supplies that had expired, it’s that varied and busy in these parts.”

Louis narrowed his eyes and scanned Greg’s body. “Really?”

“Don’t make me feel bad about admitting it now,” Greg said, rubbing the back of his neck. It was only then he realised he was standing in the middle of his flat wearing an old t-shirt and a pair of boxers in front of the man he’d been pining over for the better part of a decade. Wonderful. Dropping his hand, he said, “I know my love life can’t compare with an international pop star’s.”

“Sure it can,” Louis said quietly with a bashful smile. 

Greg wasn’t sure if Louis paused because of hesitation, if it was due to what he’d just admitted, or maybe it was just more banter given in a softer tone. Either way, he just stood and waited for Louis to speak again.

Clearing his throat, Louis took a small step closer before he looked up at Greg and raised his eyebrows expectantly. “Your love life and mine really aren’t all that different right now. Especially if they intersect.”

“Yeah?” Greg asked, swallowing harshly. “Is that what you came for then? Another, ah, intersection?”

Louis shook his head, laughing. “Only if you’re into it as well and stop using my piss poor metaphor.”

“Well. I suppose I could agree with that.” Greg waved toward his bedroom and turned off the kitchen light. “Let me show you my incredibly boring bedroom.”

“You’ve got to stop talking like that if I’m going to suck your dick,” Louis said, walking towards the soft light at the end of the short hall.

“Fuck,” Greg whispered before rushing to see what the night had in store for him.

\- - - -

Greg had woken up alone the next morning, which he’d basically expected. Louis had asked if he could stay after they’d shared orgasms and were both too exhausted to move. He’d explained that he had an early start to his day and would probably leave before Greg was up, so he’d known it was likely. It didn’t mean he wasn’t craving the kind of early morning softness he’d had with Louis last time and instead gotten a cold bed with a smiley face drawn onto a receipt on the pillow.

It was lovely waking up in his own bed again after a decent night’s rest, though. And he still got his jog in, too. He was feeling his sleep routine being messed up a bit during his shift, but he was having a good time playing the Mayor of Where and planning the week’s podcast with Chris and Ant.

He was bouncing to George Ezra’s “Shotgun” when his phone vibrated several times in quick succession, so he figured he should see what it was and make sure it wasn’t an emergency.

Once he’d pulled his phone out of his pocket, Greg read the previews and started choking on his spit in surprise and possibly horror. 

Placing his phone on the desk to be sure there wasn’t a chance anyone in the studio could possibly read anything that was just sent to him, Greg worked on clearing his airways, but he was choking so badly that his throat was burning and he still wasn’t able to catch his breath. 

Greg waved desperately at Grace, begging her the best he could without words to queue up another song, because he wasn’t going to be able to speak when the song ended in 5 seconds.

Grace, the amazing angel, somehow understood what Greg was trying to ask of her and very soon Tom Walker’s voice was singing and Greg could focus on not dying thanks to Louis.

Fucking Louis.

Greg finally was able to breathe without his lungs burning and as he wiped his eyes, he unlocked his phone and made sure it was shielded from the producers across the room. The first message Louis had sent was a photo of Greg taken that morning. The thing was, Greg had apparently kicked off the blanket during the night and had never bothered to put his boxers back on. Louis had never bothered to take his shirt off before getting down to business either, which resulted in the photo showing off Greg’s incredibly bare backside and legs while his top half was clad in the grey t-shirt and messy hair.

He wished he had enough shame to be mortified, but he couldn’t be. He’d known what he woke up to that morning and it really was just like Louis to document it. It was the texts he’d sent along with it and the timing of them that got Greg the most.

_ Louis: You look a bit like like a cartoon character wearing only a top like that _ _   
_ _ Louis: You really do have a cute bum, though _ _   
_ _ Louis: I’d quite like to see it again soon, if you’re alright with that. Maybe Friday? _ _   
_ _ Louis: Then again, if I want to see it again soon, I suppose I could always look up that ridiculous YouTube of you recreating the  _ Wrecking Ball _ music video… _

“Greg, are you alright?” Grace asked, walking over to him, looking concerned. “I got you some water. Drink it fast before someone catches you with an open bottle around the electronics.”

Greg quickly locked his phone and placed it face down on the desk, gratefully accepting the water. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just went down the wrong pipe and the surprise of it all made it even worse. Thank you for the water.”

When Grace had smiled and headed back to her desk, Greg checked the time left and quickly picked up his phone to respond. Heaven only knew what Louis would do if he saw Greg had read the messages but not responded.

_ Greg: You’re a fucking knob and I hate you _ _   
_ _ Greg: Friday works for me. Yours or mine? _

Sighing, he shoved his phone back into his pocket and was determined to ignore it for the rest of the show.

\- - - -

Greg was incredibly stressed. It had been a week since Hide and Seek and, as much fun as it had been, that was kind of the beginning of his farewell. He’d had his last week on Drivetime after that, and he was stupidly emotional about it. It felt like he and Ant, Grace, and Chris particularly had all built a sort of work family and now he was going to have to start all over again with a new production team, someone new doing the Newsbeat sections, a new group of people listening, and so on and so forth. He was excited, he really really was, but there was  _ so much _ anxiety leading up to the switch.

Taking a deep breath to make sure he didn’t burst into tears (again), Greg waited for the lift to get him as he left the floor. He still had three weeks until he started on Breakfast, but it was all behind the scenes preparation and an actual week long holiday in there too. He was now reconsidering traveling, though. He had enough on his plate, he might feel better if he stayed home and had access to the studios here to practice and rehearse everything with the new team.

His phone vibrated again and he looked down, smiling.

_ Louis: It’s fine things went late again. I’m free the whole night and tomorrow is my one day off from the show this week, so you’re good. _

_ Greg: I am finally leaving, so there’s that. Going to stop by my flat and then I’ll let you know when I’m on my way _

“You’ve been on your phone a lot lately.”

Turning around, Greg saw Chris wagging his eyebrows. 

“Come off it. You know me, I’m always on my phone.” 

Greg really was on his phone an absurd amount, but usually it was only when he was bored or having trouble focusing. Or when Louis was in the mood to chat, but he was still pretending like that had nothing to do with how often he checked his phone these days.

“Yeah, but you’ve been smiling at it lately instead of just your usual mocking of influencers or talking about  _ Kid Normal,” _ Chris said, arching a brow. “You chatting with someone new? You’re acting a bit smitten.”

Greg gasped. “Rude! I’m not smitten.”

“Ah, so you are talking to someone new?” Chris asked, eyes shining. “That’s fine. Good for you. The schedule change is going to be a bit difficult for you, but I’m sure you’ve got that covered.”

Greg debated saying more, but he wasn’t sure he could without giving something away. What would he even say about it? He wasn’t sure there was anything going on with him and Louis at all, but just like things at work had all changed after Hide and Seek, things with him and Louis had changed then too. He and Louis were spending more nights than not together this past week, and it was honestly getting almost domestic how they were both already assuming they’d have dinner together and inform the other of any evening plans they might have. That said, they still hadn’t discussed anything. Maybe it was just a friends with benefits kind of situation.

The lift showed up and Greg stepped in, holding the door to be sure Chris was able to get on as well. 

“It’s just early days,” Greg said as he hit the button for the ground floor. “Still not really sure what we are, if anything, but yeah. There’s someone new.”

Chris smiled kindly. “I’m happy for you. I hope it works out however you’d like it to.”

“Thanks.” 

Soon enough, Greg was on his own again and he couldn’t stop thinking about Louis. That wasn’t really a new development. The past week especially had left Greg finding it more and more difficult to get Louis off his mind. 

The thing was, he kept waiting for Louis to realise he was so much better than someone like Greg. That he could find someone whose feet didn’t stick off the bed, making the duvet go off-kilter every night. That he could find someone who was more suited to the lifestyle of someone rich and famous instead of Greg, the man who watched those people through the window and more often than not made fun of what he saw knowing he wasn’t of the same caliber.

Chris asking him about things got Greg thinking about it more, and he really didn’t want it to end. Whatever it was that was happening with them, it obviously wasn’t permanent. It had an expiration date, Greg just wasn’t the one who was privy to that information. That was fine. He was enjoying every moment of whatever was happening with Louis. 

The way they’d fallen into each other’s lives so easily ever since meeting up in May had Greg surprised it had already been two months. That was longer than most of his previous relationships, and this wasn’t even as clear cut as those had been. Then again, maybe that’s why it was working so well for them. They weren’t trying to force labels and expectations on each other, they were just enjoying whatever happened as it happened.

It also felt like they understood each other on a different level. Greg wasn’t a stranger to the feelings and effects of depression and anxiety. He’d suffered from them for as long as he could remember, almost, and there were certainly times that were worse than others. 

Right now when it came to anxiety was definitely one of those times. He didn’t know for sure, but there were times that he’d get together with Louis and there was just a vibe. One that told Greg he wasn’t top of his game that day. Those were the days that Greg allowed all of his usual defense mechanisms to fall and he tried to just be Greg. 

He wasn’t ever sure if Louis noticed or if it helped at all, but he liked to think it did. Louis never asked him to stop anyway. If he noticed, hopefully he realised that Greg was able to recognise those times in Louis because he was so intimately acquainted with them himself. That his actions weren’t coming from a place of sympathy, but empathy. 

Shaking his head to pull himself back to the present, Greg snapped a photo of some unfortunate advertising placement on the Tube, posted it to his Instagram and Twitter, then focused on getting home.

Whatever it was going on with Louis, it felt amazing. He was the most stressed, anxious, and scared he’d ever been with regards to his work life, but his personal life had him feeling better than he had in years and Louis was the reason for that. So, for now at least, Greg was more than happy to let things ride out. He would enjoy it as long as he could and when it ended, as it was bound to, he’d say thank you for it all and move on.

Greg’s phone vibrated, and when he pulled it out he saw a shirtless selfie of Louis with Clifford, laying on the couch waiting for Greg to join them for cuddles.

Fuck. Letting go was going to be hard when the time came for it, but he’d be damned if he didn’t live up every moment to that point. 

Greg took a photo of his hand on his flat’s door handle to show the progress he had made so far, and rushed into the flat. If his time was limited, he wanted to get to Louis’ and spend as much time as he could with him while he was able.


	2. Part 2

**Part 2 - Louis**

Louis was so fucking tired of feeling guilty all the time. Granted, he had a lot to feel guilty about, but that didn’t mean that sometimes he’d like a break from it. It was exhausting.

It was so exhausting that his limbs were shaking from the near panic attack he’d worked himself up to a moment ago. He accepted the joint from Greg, the one Greg had rolled for him after he’d explained where his emergency stash was for times like these.

At the moment, the panic was definitely rooted in guilt, which was… great. Fantastic. Wonderful. Because a whole lot of good it did him feeling guilty for shit he couldn’t control. 

Except he kind of could, couldn’t he? For example, one of the major weights on the pile currently weighing down his shoulders was that he wasn’t doing the type of music he really wanted to be doing. Hell, with the X Factor mentoring he was doing, he wasn’t actually working on his music all that much at all. It was how things went sometimes, but he was spending more time working with his boys than he’d anticipated. He didn’t regret that, though. He knew he could help them and was doing what he could to do so. That was, thankfully, one thing that wasn’t adding to his guilt. Well. Not much.

Every time he spoke to his group and advised them to do the music they felt passionate about?  _ That _ made him feel like a massive hypocrite and definitely added to his guilt. It wasn’t that he felt he had sold out doing the music he was at the moment. He didn’t really see making music as selling out at all for him because it was too personal and hard for him to do so. It was more that he was having fun exploring and trying channels that were more along the lines of where pop music was these days instead of going with the style of music he’d always dreamed of doing. Was that wrong? No. But he also didn’t feel right about it, because he knew that deep down it wasn’t what he’d imagined for himself and his mum had always pushed him to be true to himself in what he did.

“Don’t smoke it all in one go, love,” Greg’s voice quietly advised. 

Louis handed the joint over so he wouldn’t keep smoking it too fast. He’d been so stuck in his head he hadn’t realised what he was doing. He kind of wanted to allow himself to sink into the relaxing haze the weed was allowing him, though it hadn’t fully set in yet.

Closing his eyes and resting his head on the back of the couch, he could feel his body calming even if his thoughts weren’t. That was fine. He could think about his guilt some more. Maybe he could work through it this way and could avoid the panic attack.

All that he’d been considering was just on his work front, though. There was plenty more guilt for him to sift through in the other areas of his life.

Hell, there might be even more in his personal life to feel guilty about than what he had in his work life. Like, was he really doing enough for his sisters and the baby twins? In so many ways he was trying to fill in a parental role and, while he’d done that before as well, it was so much heavier now. 

He didn’t begrudge them that or feel any kind of frustration towards them at all, but he did feel like an absent parent sometimes. He had no idea how to fix that, especially since they did still have an actual parent in their lives. It was a role he’d given himself for them, an added feeling of protection and care to what he’d always already felt as their older brother. God, he just worried about them so much and wanted to be sure he was doing what he could for them; be a representative for their mum in a way. 

On the other side of his personal life, he still felt guilty about his breakup with Nick. Not so much that it had happened, that was all water under the bridge at this point and things were what they were. More because of what had happened because of their relationship and breakup. 

He and Nick only became close in the first place because of Nick’s friendship with Harry, and with the breakup Harry felt like he had to choose sides. Louis kept telling him he didn’t actually have to, that he was more than welcome to be friends with both of them, but Harry was the one who had held Louis together after the breakup. With that, Harry just naturally drew back from Nick and Louis knew they still never had gotten back to their friendship as it had been.

He also felt guilty because he knew how much he had hurt Nick. He’d never meant to, and so much of it was a product of the situation more than anything Louis himself had done, what with his closet being as heavy as it was, but fuck. He had watched Nick slowly break under the pressure and their relationship had been the last thing from healthy because of it. He could see that now.

And now, despite all that, Louis was thinking of bringing Greg into the exact same situation. Well, it was different now that the band wasn’t active and because of that the pressure would probably feel different, but the closet still existed. He’d avoided dating anyone since Nick because he didn’t feel like it was fair to them after what happened before. In fact, he had vowed to himself he would never inflict that kind of pressure on anyone else. With the closet coming down as hard as it had after he and Nick had already started dating, he hadn’t known what would happen or how it would affect Nick. Now he did.

And yet, even with all that, here he was contemplating doing exactly that with Greg. The closet wasn’t  _ that _ bad for Louis right now. He’d grown used to it and really it could be so much worse. It was just how his life was anymore and, in a way, it gave him a feeling of privacy and protection that he didn’t get otherwise. But how could he knowingly bring Greg into something like this when he’d seen how thoroughly it had broken Nick?

He couldn’t. Not without adding even more guilt to what he was already experiencing from just  _ thinking _ about doing it.

Things with Greg were entirely different from how they’d been with Nick, though. They were so very opposite of each other in many ways and Louis felt like different people with them. Maybe he was a different person now from who he was earlier anyway. He’d been through so much since then.

Louis tucked himself into Greg’s side and relaxed into him. Greg dropped his long arm around Louis’ shoulders, helping to warm him before handing back the joint. Louis happily took it back, finally appreciating the haze that had started setting into his brain. Greg seemed to be able to sit still and focus on the telly more with the weed, but it just made Louis more introspective and in need of physical affection. 

Right now he didn’t think that was a bad thing. It allowed him to really think over everything going on and his emotions without the edge of earlier.

As his thoughts slowed and he sank into the calm, he knew the weed was only part of what was helping Louis calm down. Greg always had a soothing and calming effect on his nerves. It was incredible. Nick had always set him a little on edge when he already was worked up a bit, like he inadvertently pushed all of Louis’ buttons and ended up escalating the situation. It was just another reason why they fought as much as they did. Nick didn’t do it on purpose half the time, but he still did it. 

Greg was the exact opposite. He somehow knew when Louis was on edge and just his presence helped calm him. He was like the human equivalent of Clifford, a gentle giant. Always willing to give a good cuddle and never one to turn down some wine or weed depending on what kind of night it was. He was goofy and sweet and stupidly ridiculous just like he was on the radio, but he was also so witty and fast and Louis loved how fast paced their banter was. Unlike with Nick, Greg’s was never sharp and pointed, though. It felt natural and silly and soft and always left Louis with stitches in his sides and his cheeks sore from smiling so wide and laughing so hard.

As Louis took a deep breath and realised that Greg’s clothes smelled like him because he’d had to do a load with Louis’ washing powder, Louis realised his biggest feeling of guilt at the moment was definitely to do with Greg. He deserved so much more than a broken Louis in a demanding closet, and that was exactly what Louis was offering him. 

Greg was bound to realise all of this soon enough. One day he’d be there when Louis really fell apart or he’d see something in the gossip columns that he would have to report on during his show and he’d realise how tangled Louis’ web really was and he’d run. It was only fair, really.

Closing his eyes and giving in to the floaty feeling that was slowly taking over as he fell more and more into the place that helped him not feel so much all the time, Louis promised himself that when Greg left he’d let him go without a fight. He’d do what he could to make sure Greg knew he was appreciated for any moment he was willing to spend with Louis, but whenever it ended he’d be alright with it. 

He’d move on and go back to how it had been before. He just hoped that wasn’t anytime soon.

\- - - -

“It’s safe for you to come back in here,” Louis called out as he closed his computer. 

“Thank goodness, I was getting so exhausted of hiding in your bedroom and snooping through all your shit,” Greg said as he walked out wearing a sheet mask and a pair of grey joggers that did  _ nothing _ to hide what he was packing. 

Louis smirked and wanted to say something, but Greg kept going. 

“Did you know you have like five different deodorants in there?”

Louis threw his arm on the back of his couch and nodded. 

“Why?” Greg asked, throwing himself down onto the couch and placing his stupidly long legs on top of Louis’. “Who legitimately needs five different deodorants? Do they have different uses or something? Some were even women’s deodorants, so I wasn’t sure if they were your sisters’ or what. Oh, and I helped myself to one of your fancy toners. It had rosewater in it or something.”

“Well, for the deodorants I just like trying different scents and I switch them up based on my mood. And actually, the one I use most often is a women’s deodorant. It works great. Plus I smell fresh and clean like baby powder all day.” Louis shrugged. “And that wasn’t my toner. Dunno who left it. Just showed up one day and no one says it’s theirs, so I kept it. It’s quite nice, isn’t it? Lotts said it’s supposed to help even out the PH balance of my skin or some shit, but I’ll be fucked if I know what that actually means.”

“Oh, that does sound fancy,” Greg agreed, checking the time on his phone. “I’ve got five more minutes on this mask, don’t let me forget. Don’t want to leave it on so long it burns my skin off or summat.”

“Sure,” Louis said, laughing. “So are you actually wearing anything under these or are you just that excited to see me?”

“Eh?” Greg asked before looking down at his crotch. Of course, now he was sitting down it didn’t show anything. “What are you on about?”

“Stand back up and look in a mirror, mate,” Louis said, laughing. “You’re dick was trying to tell me hello a minute ago.”

“I didn’t tell it to do that,” Greg muttered as he shifted so he could stand back up again. He walked into Louis’ bedroom, and Louis could hear when he’d seen himself. “Oh my God, that’s obscene! Does it always look like that when I wear these?”

Louis laughed and walked into his bedroom to see Greg’s eyes wide as he shifted himself around and walked a bit, appalled that no matter what he did, nothing seemed to make it any less  _ there. _

“I wouldn’t know, I’ve never seen you in those. You usually nick a pair of mine,” Louis reminded him. “Do you wear them without pants often?”

“I never wear pants with these,” Greg said, rubbing his forehead. “Fuck, I’ve likely given that nan that lives below me too many looks at my cock without even realising it. They’re my softest, most favorite pair of joggers! I wear them to the shops when I’m too knackered to get fully dressed!”

As Greg continued to narrate the various escapades he’d had over the years in the joggers without even realising what he’d been doing, Louis settled onto his bed, propping himself up on his elbow so he could still watch Greg as he motioned about in distress.

When it was clear Greg wouldn’t be stopping anytime soon, Louis pulled out his phone and started filming. There was no one he could share this with, but it would be good for a laugh later on.

“Fuck, and you didn’t remind me to take off my mask!” Greg cried, rushing back into the bathroom to remove the sheet mask and do whatever else he had to do when he used them. 

Greg was proper obsessed with them, said they were relaxing and kept his skin soft. Louis just liked knowing they were one of Greg’s things, like taking regular baths with a bottle of wine and perusing various adoption websites for dogs he could possibly give a good home to.

“Sorry, love,” Louis said, as Greg walked back out of the bathroom. He really was sorry, but he also couldn’t pass up the opportunity to keep taking the piss. Greg was too much fun to rile up. “Was distracted by your big dick flopping about whilst you remembered all the good times you’d had in the joggers.”

“Oh yeah?” Greg asked, stalking up to Louis. “You like my big dick, don’t you? Proper size queen, you are.”

“What are you doing,” Louis asked, sitting up and getting ready to escape if Greg looked like he was going to attack. “Gregory, I’m warning you not to act rashly.”

“What exactly would a rash action be considered in this situation? Hmm?” Greg asked, his eyes sharp and Louis knew he was fucked. Greg had set his mind to something and Louis wasn’t going to get away easily.

Louis started scrambling towards the other side of the bed, but before he could even roll over Greg had pounced on top of him. 

“No, no, no,” Louis yelled, laughing. He struggled as best he could, yanking his wrists from Greg’s grip as soon as he felt his hands closing on them.

The thing was, Greg was tall as fuck and therefore his limbs were  _ everywhere _ and the man knew how to use them. He wasn’t clumsy or bambi like, like Harry was after his growth spurt. Greg knew how to use his height and had excellent reflexes. Because of this and the fact that Louis couldn’t flip Greg off of him like he could when wrestling any of the lads from the band, it was a quick fight and Greg won easily.

“What should I do with you,” Greg asked, leaning closer and voice getting deeper as he asserted his dominance over Louis.

Louis studied his face and pressed up quickly to capture Greg’s mouth with his. “I think you know exactly what to do with me,” Louis challenged before looking obviously back down to Greg’s crotch.

“Do I?” Greg teased before leaning down to nip at Louis’ ear. 

Louis shuddered as Greg started kissing down his neck, then Greg ground into him.

“Yeah, I really think you do,” Louis panted.

“Maybe I do,” Greg agreed.

Later that night when they’d finally cleaned themselves up and remade the bed, Louis smiled to himself. 

Greg absolutely knew what to do with Louis.

\- - - -

_ Louis: Greg _ _   
_ _ Louis: Greg _ _   
_ _ Louis: Hey, Greg _ _   
_ _ Louis: Gregory _ _   
_ _ Louis: Hey, guess what _

Louis kept texting Greg, waiting only a few seconds between texts because he knew Greg was online. He was technically meeting with Chris about more  _ Kid Normal _ stuff, but if Louis knew anything about Greg, it was that he had his phone on him at all times.

Besides, Louis had gone to the X Factor house after stopping by with Oli and it had brought back too much for Louis to handle that day. 

It wasn’t all bad, it just had a way of throwing him emotionally right back into the stress and fear of the situation as well as the feeling of elation he had as he and the lads got to know each other and start their journey that got them to where they all are today. There was a lot of strength and power held in those memories, and it became too much for him a lot faster than he’d anticipated. 

He hated how often emotions as well as anxiety were tied to random memories. He never knew when he’d trip over one that wasn’t  _ just _ a memory, but was a waiting time bomb.

Luckily, Oli had figured out what was going on and had made excuses for Louis to get out of there fast and as soon as they got back to Louis’ place, they smoked a bit to calm him down and then jumped online and started gaming for distraction.

After a few games, Louis was over it and he cuddled up to Oli before their conversation somehow devolved into dick jokes.

Oli had shared a new one that Louis had loved so much he immediately had to share it with Greg.

_ Louis: Gregoyrryyyyyy asnwer meeeeee _ _   
_ _ Louis: Greg Gerg Greg _

Louis cheered when Greg finally started typing and excitedly waited for his message.

_ Greg: The fuck is up with you _ _   
_ _ Greg: I’m here now, what’s up? _

Giggling, Louis typed carefully and made sure he didn’t have any typos.

_ Louis: I’ve been smoking _ _   
_ _ Louis: No worries, it was the good shit _ _   
_ _ Louis: So Greg _

Before Louis could even get the next part out, Greg had already responded.

_ Greg: Louis. No. _

Louis laughed some more, tucking his face into Oli’s shoulder. It was so bony and not nearly as comfortable as Greg’s. He pouted, wishing Greg was here instead of Oli.

_ Louis: Louis yes _ _   
_ _ Louis: Hold on, eating _

Louis leaned forward and grabbed the biscuit that had been teasing him from the coffee table for a little while now. Once he’d popped it in his mouth he looked down and saw another message waiting from Greg.

_ Greg: Good god you’re well fucked tonight, aren’t you _

_ Louis: Not in the way I want ;) _

Louis was having a hard time typing the beginning of his joke so he kept deleting and starting over again, huffing in frustration. Why couldn’t his fingers hit the right keys? Oh right, the weed was fucking great tonight.

_ Greg: Would you shut up _

Louis scrunched his nose.

_ Louis: No? _

Greg sent him a selfie of himself drinking a pint at the pub, but nothing else, so Louis kept trying to type what he’d wanted to send the whole time.

_ Louis: What do you call a turtle with a hard on? _

Louis could practically hear Greg’s groan, but he couldn’t wait to actually type it out. From the moment Oli had shared this one he’d known it was one to keep in his regular repertoire. 

_ Greg: Bo _ _   
_ _ Greg: No _

Louis had to delete about seventy typos because his fingers kept missing the o which made it so the punchline didn’t make any sense, and he had to be sure to deliver this perfectly.

_ Louis: A slow poke _

Louis immediately started laughing again, which got Oli laughing again too.

“What are we laughing at, lad?” Oli asked.

“Your stupid joke,” Louis said, sighing happily.

_ Greg: Blocked. I fucking hate you. _

_ Louis: Nah, that’s a fukcin lie _ _   
_ _ Louis: Fickin _ _   
_ _ Louis: Nevermind _

_ Greg: Right. Let’s see if you’ve sobered up at all by the time I get there. I’ll be there in around 20 _

Louis sat up straight and started pushing at Oli’s shoulder.

“You gotta go.”

“What?” Oli asked, looking at Louis like he was crazy. “Why?”

“Cause you gotta, that’s why,” Louis said, standing up to get some water. He knew it was weed and not alcohol so the water wouldn’t actually help, but he suddenly felt stupidly thirsty. “It’s my place, I don’t want you here anymore.”

“All you needed to say was that you’re gonna get laid,” Oli muttered before standing. “Don’t have to be rude about it.”

“How’d you know I’m getting laid?” Louis asked, frozen in the kitchen.

Oli rolled his eyes. “It’s not hard to guess that’s why you’ve been happier lately. Less clingy.”

“Oi,” Louis protested. “I’m not clingy.”

“Sure,” Oli said, laughing. “I’ll leave ya to your boy. Have fun. I’ll be here early tomorrow with the car.”

“Right,” Louis nodded. “Thanks, mate.”

Oli nodded and left and then Louis decided to get ready for Greg.

Except once he’d gotten to the bedroom, the bed looked so inviting he had to say hello to it and he laid down on Greg’s side, sniffing the pillow. It still smelled like him from this morning. It was wonderful.

So wonderful he quickly drifted off to sleep. 

He only woke once that night, and it was when warm arms wrapped around his waist and pulled him in close before a kiss was pressed to his hair. Louis smiled, sighed, and went right back to sleep.

\- - - -

“Hey, Lou, do you have any towels in here?”

“Fuck,” Louis said to himself as he rolled off the bed, heading towards his laundry room. “Hang on, I forgot I washed them earlier and haven’t put them back yet.”

He went as fast as he could and walked back to the bathroom where he found Greg standing in front of the sink, brushing his teeth as he dripped water all over his freshly clean floor.

“Oi, I just washed that today and now it’s a mess again,” Louis chided, clicking his tongue in disappointment. “What am I meant to do with a heathen like you?”

Greg smiled widely at him, toothbrush still in his mouth and teeth all foamy. It was disgusting and charming all at once and Louis had no idea what to do with that information.

Spitting some foam into the sink, Greg then said, “Well, you’re obviously meant to give me a towel so I can stop any further dripping and then give me another to wipe up the floor.”

Louis rolled his eyes and handed the bath towel to Greg so he could cover at least  _ some _ of his bits, and headed back to the dryer so he could get one he didn’t mind being all over the floor.

“Alright, this should work for yo—”

Louis was cut off when Greg reached out to take the towel from him and slipped on the wet floor. He latched onto the closest thing to him, which unfortunately was Louis, and they both went crashing to the floor.

“Oh. Fuck, oh God. That was… not smart. Shit fucking fuck,” Greg moaned.

“I think you fell right on my hip, you clumsy fuck,” Louis said, already starting to giggle. Greg’s towel had slipped off so he was essentially naked again whilst Louis was now soaking wet in his favourite pair of joggers trying to disentangle himself from Greg’s freakishly long limbs. “Fucking hell, I think you made it so the Thames runs through here with the amount of water I’m sitting in.”

Greg squawked in protest. but soon enough was laughing uncontrollably. The more Greg laughed, the more Louis laughed, and soon they were wheezing and trying to catch their breath as they both attempted to sort themselves out and get off the fucking bathroom floor.

“Don’t fucking touch me,” Louis threatened, holding his hand out so Greg knew to keep his distance. “My hip has me feeling like an old man now and I’d appreciate no further injury tonight.”

Greg lifted his hands up in surrender as he started rinsing his mouth of whatever toothpaste remained.

Louis turned around and was nearly to his bedroom when he hit one last rogue puddle of water and fell down hard on his arse.

“Oh God,” Greg said, laughing hard again. “Fuck, are you alright? That wasn’t my fault this time, I just wanted to say.”

“It absolutely was your fault!” Louis cried before moaning at the pain throbbing from his backside in a much less fun way than he’d been hoping would result from the night. “The floor wouldn’t have been wet if you’d stayed in the shower until I had a towel ready for you!”

“I had to step out of the shower to check the cabinet,” Greg argued through his laughter. “You know what, it doesn’t matter. Sure, it’s all my fault. Please go get changed and I’ll get us both some ice as soon as my mouth is rinsed.”

Louis pouted and rubbed his bum as he stood back up and hobbled back to his room. He couldn’t help continuing to chuckle, even as he winced through changing his clothes.

It was then that Louis realised he was in too deep. He knew it and yet he wasn’t sure he could bring himself to care. 

See, the thing was, some nights were like tonight where he knew after that bathroom fiasco, they weren’t going to get up to anything tonight. There might be some kissing, but mostly it would be cuddles, banter, and maybe an argument about whether they’d really watch the footie or if Greg could convince Louis to try some cricket snippets of Greg’s favourite match ups. That’s how some nights had been, and honestly they were some of Louis’ favourites. 

He didn’t have a lot of experience with adult relationships outside of Nick, and they hadn’t had many nights like this. Sure, they had  _ occasionally, _ but generally speaking they were volatile. If the same thing had happened with Nick that had just happened with Greg, they likely would have fallen into bickering and possibly even a full blown fight by the end which they may or may not have made up for that night. 

Louis had always said it worked for them because when emotions are high in some areas of the relationship, they were high in all areas. They had such love for each other that it made sense their fights were as large and explosive as they always were. The make-up sex was just as explosive in an entirely different way. It was hot, their rhythm, and it worked for them.

Until it didn’t. In the end it just became exhausting and too much effort to keep appeasing each other. 

Louis never felt that way with Greg. Even when they had their little arguments, it was always easy to work past and feed their energy in a much less destructive manner. Greg was playful when Nick would automatically go on the defensive, and that was exactly what Louis needed to diffuse the situation. Instead of ending with yelling and insults, he was left changing out of wet clothes entirely happy and halfway in love with the man walking into his bedroom, ready to steal some of Louis’ entirely too short joggers as they kept chuckling even through the physical pain.

Greg patted Louis’ bum gently, kissed his forehead, and then snatched the pair of joggers Louis was about to put on himself. Winking at him over his shoulder, Greg kept walking his starkers self out of the bedroom, presumably starting his search for ice.

Yeah. Louis was gone for him, but he was too happy to care about the pain he knew was waiting whenever it ended.

\- - - -

_ Greg: Lou I’m dying _ _   
_ _ Greg: I have a gift for you _ _   
_ _ Greg: A visual gift _ _   
_ _ Greg: A listener sent it in to me and it’s hilarious but I can’t share my thoughts publicly because they are children _ _   
_ _ Greg: Please laugh with me, okay? Not over the kids, they’re precious. But their incredibly unfortunate footie team name _

Louis picked up his phone during another long break in filming and was relieved for the short time to relax a bit. The show was everything he remembered it being and actually was far less stressful in some ways, but he had so many people’s hopes and dreams relying on him. That was harder for him to deal with than he expected.

Having this slew of texts from Greg was a wonderfully welcome way to shake off the tension.

When he clicked on the photo Greg had sent through, Louis snorted and covered his mouth immediately with the back of his hand as he tried to hold back his laughter. 

_ Louis: That is _ _   
_ _ Louis: fucking hell I just… _ _   
_ _ Louis: The  _ Fighting Pickles?????

_ Greg: EXACTLY WHO THE HELL CAME UP WITH THAT IDEA?!?! _

Louis gave up trying to hold back his laughter and laid his head down onto his arms on the table. 

“Everything alright, Louis?” Ayda asked him. When Louis turned his head to her, she really did look concerned.

“Yeah, everything’s great. A mate just sent me a photo of some kids playing for a team that have the  _ worst _ name I’ve ever heard.”

Louis made sure nothing was showing of the sender and then handed the phone to her. Her eyes went wide and she also started laughing.

“Oh God, that’s horrific,” she said, horror on her face even as she continued laughing. “They should sue. That’s not real, is it?”

Louis shrugged and took his phone back. “He says it is, but I’m not sure.”

_ Louis: God, mate, that honestly sounds like the title of a bad porno or something _

_ Greg: What the fuck? _ _   
_ _ Greg: I didn’t even _ _   
_ _ Greg: I literally was only thinking of the innuendo and you took it there _ _   
_ _ Greg: This is a CHILDREN’S team! _

Watching Greg’s outraged texts continue to come through had Louis laughing even harder until the music that played during breaks turned to a One Direction song. Louis bopped his head and smiled, making sure to turn around and wave at some of the fans who were screaming because of it as they sang and danced.

Soon enough, the fun of the break was over and it was back to the stress of having to make decisions that would affect actual people’s lives.

_ Louis: We on for tonight? Think I’m going to need a bottle of wine or two _

_ Greg: Fuck, please. I’ve been working with the team on new games and such to do with the new show and I think I’m going crazy _ _   
_ _ Greg: I bring the wine, you order the takeout?  _

Louis smiled. He was so glad that the two of them were so often on the same wavelength, even if that wavelength was filled with stress over work related projects. 

_ Louis: Sounds great to me. Mine? _

Greg didn’t answer right away, but that was fine. Louis shoved his phone into his pocket and it was time to pay attention again. He had the promise of an evening with Greg, though, and that was all he really needed to push aside the stress a little longer and just keep going.

\- - - -

Louis wasn’t sure if it was paranoia or just the fact that his experiences with Nick have left him with more lasting issues than he realised, but he was getting a bit anxious sometimes with Greg. Greg wasn’t even doing anything to warrant it, Louis was just… concerned.

Sighing, Louis looked at himself in the mirror. He squeezed the toothpaste onto his toothbrush and started brushing before he glanced back at his reflection, really taking in everything he saw as he considered his worries. 

What it came down to was Louis was really concerned that Greg was going to ask for more. They’d fallen so easily into a friendship and something  _ more _ than friendship that he had wanted so badly to just enjoy it and take it for what it was, but sometimes Greg would text things or start conversations and Louis’ entire body would tense. Sometimes his heart would start to beat faster in a panic.

_ So I was thinking… _

_ Did you know… _

_ I was talking to my mum and dad… _

So far, those had always ended in some ridiculous story about a dog in the park or wondering if there was a way to get Ainsley Harriet on his show for the first day he’d host the Breakfast Show, or wondering if he was the only one who requested a spoonful of butter growing up as a snack. He knew the likelihood of it being something related to them was low considering they’d never discussed what was going on up until now, so there wasn’t really much reason for him to think they would now.

But apparently that worry was something he couldn’t control.

And, really, if Greg  _ were _ to ask for something more, would Louis have an actual issue trying for it? 

Louis spit into the sink and rinsed the toothpaste from his mouth before stepping into the shower. As the warm water coursed down his body and wet his hair, he considered the options. 

If Greg were to ask for them to become something official, Louis would want to say yes. He couldn’t deny that he had fallen for the endearing oaf of a man. He loved how Greg’s hair was so thick it would puff up as it dried after a shower. He thought it was cute how much he truly loved writing the  _ Kid Normal _ books and the voices he would do for Louis whenever he told any story at all. Louis was so stupidly gone that he actually found it cute that Greg had to sleep with his feet sticking out from beneath the duvet, not because he was so tall that it wouldn’t cover his entire body, but because he got too hot if his feet were covered. It always made the blankets go weird, but Louis didn’t even care.

But even with all of that, could he? Thinking back to the wedge Louis had caused to come between Harry and Nick’s friendship as well as how hard the closet had been on Nick, Louis knew the answer. He couldn’t do that to someone else. Nick and Greg were just as close as Harry and Nick had been, and he didn’t want to be a cause for any awkwardness between them.

Louis snorted and reached for the facewash one of the girls had left in his bathroom last time they’d stayed with him. As he rubbed it into his face, he considered how ridiculous he was. He was constantly telling himself that Greg would realise how broken Louis was and leave, and yet he was constantly bracing himself for the possibility that he would ask for something more. 

Which was he actually scared of? Greg leaving because he realised he deserved more than Louis? Or Greg actually wanting to try for something more than Louis was able to give him? Fuck. Maybe it was both. 

“Lou, you really shouldn’t leave your door unlocked, especially if you’re in the shower.”

Louis wiped the water from his eyes before then clearing the water and steam away from the glass panels of his shower. Greg was standing in the bathroom doorway, waving like an idiot.

“I knew you were going to be here soon,” Louis argued before moving back into the water to rinse his shampoo out. “Besides, it wasn’t like the place was entirely unlocked. You still had to get through the gate and know the code to the door.”

“Yeah, but you never know,” Greg said, sounding like he’d come fully into the bathroom now. “You should always do the deadbolt, just to be sure.”

“Sure, I’ll be more careful and ensure you’re locked out next time,” Louis teased as he shut off the water.

Stepping from the shower, Louis grabbed his towel and started drying off. Greg had stayed quiet for long enough by the time he was done drying his torso that he looked up in question and found Greg’s eyes practically devouring him without any shame.

“Hmm, like what you see, then?”

Licking his lips, Greg met Louis’ eyes and shrugged. “You know I do. Figured it wasn’t worth covering up at this point.”

Louis swallowed and did a quick cursory job of drying his legs before dropping the towel and passing Greg for the door.

“Well, might as well come out here and appreciate the view then.” Louis winked at Greg over his shoulder and headed to his bed.

What he had with Greg was definitely temporary and he knew it. For one reason or another, eventually Greg would leave and Louis would be left to pick up the pieces. Until then, though, he had to keep reminding himself that he should just forget about all of that and let himself enjoy it while he could.

As Greg joined Louis on the bed and wrapped his warm limbs around Louis’ slightly damp body, his worries melted away. Yeah. He’d definitely enjoy this while he could.

\- - - -

Louis was breathing. It was a struggle because he really wanted to hold his breath, but he knew he needed to breathe. It was his seventh plank, though, and as much as he prided himself in his ability to hold a plank, doing seven of them in a row of any length gets more difficult.

He dropped out when his phone chimed that his twenty seconds was over and smiled to himself as he rested. Three more and then he was done with this set. He loved the feeling of his entire body burning from the workout. 

“Do you have any fucking idea how much those fancy arse frappuccinos are that you get?”

Louis laughed into the carpet as Greg came barging in, as he was wont to do. Sometimes Louis even came home from the day’s work with the X Factor and found Greg waiting for him. He was like a thunderstorm, he’d come sweeping in and you couldn’t help but hear, see, and feel his presence.

“You do realise I pay for my own shit, right?” Louis asked, looking up at Greg. The tall fuck looked even taller when Louis was on the floor like this. “Oh my God, did you get one? Is that why you’re whining? I could have bought it for you if you wanted to try it. At least then you wouldn’t pay a fuck ton of money for a drink you potentially might not like.”

Greg arched his brow. “Excuse you, I might not be made of money like a certain someone else around here, but I can pay for my own Starbucks drinks. I just didn’t expect this to cost me like eight quid.”

“Well?” Louis asked, getting ready for his next plank. “You like it? If not, I have no qualms with finishing it for you.”

Louis pulled himself up into plank and jabbed his finger at the timer to start another twenty seconds. Greg was well used to the routine, so he waited until the phone chimed and Louis had dropped back to the floor before he started talking.

“It’s fucking delicious and you’ve changed my entire world with this stupid fucking drink, but I’m going to be incredibly angry that you opened my eyes to this delicious option. It’s so expensive and I’m going to want it every day,” Greg whined. He took another slurping drink and Louis chuckled.

“Yeah, well you better be willing to share at least a sip with me when I’m done with my planks.”

“You already do your cardio?” Greg asked. “I could do with a jog if you haven’t.”

“Yeah right,” Louis spit out as he focused on holding his form in his second to last plank. “Not running with you.”

Greg squawked. “Why not? Think I’m not good enough for your fancy workout routines or something?”

Louis dropped to the floor again and rolled onto his side as he tried to catch his breath. “Oh come on, you know my routines are not anything special. But I  _ am _ a realist about my height. I’m not short, but you’re a giant. There’s no way in hell I would be able to keep up with your strides.”

Greg sighed. “Yeah, fine. I guess that’s fair. No one ever wants to run with me.”

“Aww, the poor giant get lonely during workouts?” Louis teased, pouting at Greg. “I thought you liked your time alone during your jogs.”

“I do,” Greg said, pausing to take another sip of his drink. “But sometimes I’d like company and it was one of those weird days where I had so much to do that I ended up alone the whole day.”

Louis rolled his eyes and pushed up into his last plank. When he was done he groaned and punched the air. “Done! Alright, well I already did my cardio, but if you want to go for a jog, feel free. I have to make sure song choices were approved for the lads before I’ll be able to relax anyway.”

Greg nodded but then shrugged. “Not sure going for a jog after having this much caffeine is a good idea. My body isn’t used to three shots of espresso in one drink.”

Louis cackled. “You’ll get used to it. I’m gonna shower and take care of those emails and then I can focus on you.”

“Do what you need to,” Greg said, waving his hand and taking his phone out of his pocket. “I showed up earlier than I said I would so you’re fine.”

Louis smiled and leaned in to kiss his temple before heading towards the shower.

“Get your sweaty self away from me, you’re disgusting!” Greg shouted after Louis.

Louis laughed. “That’s not what you said last night,” Louis quipped back.

There was something so truly comforting about Greg. Louis never felt like he had to put off working if there was something that needed addressed, Greg was more than willing to wait. Sometimes they would sit side by side on their laptops taking care of various things that needed tending to before crawling into bed for a cuddle while watching something on Netflix. It was exactly what Louis needed and he was so glad that Greg was willing to be that person for him, at least for right now.

“You know, you really are like a fucking sexy Tommy Shelby with your hair cut like that,” Greg said when Louis returned to the living room with his laptop.

Louis snorted. “He was kind of the inspiration for the cut, but I’m glad you think I can pull it off.”

Greg hummed and kept watching Louis. Louis looked up at him and nervously tucked his fringe to the side. “What?”

Shaking his head, Greg just smiled and looked back at his phone. “Just thinking about how many people would kill to see what you look like fresh from the shower like that. But I’m the one who gets to.”

Louis blushed and felt his heart rabbit a little. “Yeah,” Louis said quietly. “You are.”

With that, they both went quiet, simply enjoying being in each other’s presence.

\- - - -

Louis sat on his porch, listening to Greg’s voice come out of his phone’s speakers. Greg had been a nervous wreck but so determined to not fuck up. He’d practiced nonstop in the studios and had even brought home some talking points to have Louis pretend he was a caller and allow Greg the chance to have someone to play off of. 

Louis had known all along that Greg would do great, but as he smoked, only three hours of sleep under his belt after staying and working with the lads at the X Factor house until the early morning hours, he felt so proud listening to Greg absolutely smash it. Joe Lycett was currently commenting on some sort of bike ride Greg had organised with rockets and such and Louis was bent over from laughing so hard. 

_ Louis: This is garbage and I love it! You’re doing so fucking well, babe _

It wasn’t until he’d already sent it before he realised he’d sent the pet name. They called each other little things like babe and love every now and then, but it had only been just over a month since they’d basically been living in each other’s pockets. The intimacy had been fast and natural and Louis hoped Greg didn’t mind it coming out in a text. 

Louis let his thumb hover over the message, debating with himself whether he should delete it or not. As Greg’s laughter over everything being perfect for his first day played in the background, Louis decided to let it stay. 

Why not. 

Hours later, Louis was nearly asleep again, letting himself catch a few more hours before getting up and getting back to work. Things were getting more hectic now with live shows coming and Louis was putting more of a concentrated effort in because of that as well. 

Smiling to himself, Louis turned over and got comfortable when his phone vibrated. He had it on do not disturb, only a select group of names on his approved list, so he knew it was someone worth checking his phone for. 

_ Greg: Am I babe now? I think I make a pretty good babe, so I approve.  _ _   
_ _ Greg: Thanks for listening, it means more than you know _

Louis sent back his usual cool smiley face and fell asleep almost immediately. 

\- - - -

Louis left the studio where he’d been working with Dalton and checked his phone. He didn’t know why he did it, he and Greg had talked on the phone earlier that day. Their schedules didn’t line up anymore, Louis keeping late nights and later mornings while Greg was winding down for the day when Louis was sometimes just showing up to work. 

It made it tough, but Louis didn’t mind. He was used to that between travelling for work and trying to make sure he was available for his family whenever they needed him. 

Still. He’d gotten so used to him and Greg texting whenever they weren’t together that coming out of the session with Dalton and finding nothing waiting for him from Greg made his heart sink a little. 

It was fine. He’d get used to the different hours eventually, if they were even still doing whatever they were doing by then. Hell, maybe this was their natural end. He hoped not, but he couldn’t ignore the way it seemed to work almost too well for Greg to be able to step away. 

He hadn’t so far, though. He still texted Louis and took his phone calls even if they weren’t able to see each other. Which they hadn’t in the week since he had started the show. The first weekend after, his family and friends—just some of the many who didn’t know about Louis—all wanted to take him out to celebrate. Louis wanted him to have that too, so they just stuck with texts and phone calls that weekend too.

Louis missed him, though. Hopefully they’d be able to get together soon.

\- - - -

Louis woke up slowly and checked his phone. It was filled with texts from his sisters, his management team, a few from Liam following up about the boys he’d met, and even a missed call from a songwriter Louis had been trying to schedule some time with.

Nothing from Greg.

It was the third day in a row Greg hadn’t texted Louis during his show. Usually he had some sort of comment to make about parts Louis would like or something funny that was texted in that he couldn’t share on air. The past few days he hadn’t, though. 

Louis was trying not to take it personally, but it did  _ feel _ personal. Things had been normal between them, even despite not being able to get together in two weeks, but then Tuesday something shifted. Louis wished he could put his finger on what it was exactly, but he couldn’t. 

Greg wasn’t ignoring him, it wasn’t anything that cut and dry. If Louis texted or called, he still responded and answered. When they spoke on the phone, Greg sounded a little stilted, though, and Louis wondered if he had someone over. It was fine if he had, it wasn’t like they were exclusive. Hell, they weren’t even dating. Not really. But still, Greg was being his usual lovely self.

But he wasn’t being as effusive as usual. He was responding to Louis, but never initiating the conversation himself. He would give perfectly acceptable answers, but never anything as indulgent or wordy as he had before. It felt like he was holding back, and Louis didn’t know why.

Had he said something? Had he done something? Was it because he’d called Greg babe accidentally via text a week or so ago? He didn’t think that was it, because he’d only done it the once and Greg hadn’t seemed awkward about it. Plus, this all started well after that.

Louis let his arm drop to the bed without even unlocking his phone and he studied the ceiling. Maybe Greg had just finally recognised that continuing on with Louis as they had been was foolish because of everything Louis had gone over in his head before. Maybe he finally realised that Louis was a bit of a dead end and not worth the effort. 

Or, maybe Greg was just having a few bad days and Louis was imagining that Greg was pulling away. It had only been three days, after all. He needed to not overanalyse things. It was like he always told his sisters, boys were dumb and emotional beings just like girls were. If he gave Greg time and things didn’t change, then Louis would stop trying and see if Greg initiated anything then. 

If not, then he’d let him go. It was what Louis had been expecting, anyway. 

Convincing himself not to give up hope just yet and to allow Greg a few more days, Louis took a deep breath and got up. He needed to get his workout in early today or it wouldn’t happen at all.

Getting ready for a long run, Louis pulled out his gear and queued up Greg’s show from the morning to listen to while he was out. He never said he wasn’t a glutton for punishment. Even if this was the end for them and he couldn’t have Greg’s actual presence in his life, he could still appreciate Greg’s humour during his show.

Somehow, Louis just knew, that was all he’d get of Greg from here on out.

\- - - -

Louis sank into his couch and sucked one of the alcoholic popsicle things Greg had left at his house a few weeks ago. They really were better than they had any right to be, and after the night he’d had, Louis needed something. Plus, it made it feel a little bit more like Greg had been by even though he hadn’t.

The bigger issue probably was that the stress hadn’t only been because of that night. Sure, they’d done the first of the live shows, so it felt like it had all come to a climax tonight, but the entire last few weeks had been absolutely insane and stressful. Louis remembered how difficult this part of the journey had been for him and the lads, and he wanted to do whatever he could to ease the way for his boys. In some ways he felt less anxiety because of the fact it wasn’t him and the lads this time around, but at the same time he felt all the more pressure to protect and support these people who have put their trust in him.

On top of that, Greg still wasn’t being his normal self with Louis and they hadn’t seen each other now in over three weeks. Greg responded in short replies that gave almost nothing away if Louis texted first, otherwise it was radio silence. Louis snorted to himself at the pun he’d thought up unintentionally. If only he could text it to Harry, or even Greg. They’d both appreciate it. But Harry doesn’t know about Greg and it was fairly obvious why he couldn’t text it to Greg himself.

Everything was fine, though. Louis was sure Greg was just tired and stressed. Louis knew how hard it was to adjust sleeping patterns. He’d lived it for five years while they toured. 

But then again, maybe everything wasn’t fine. Deep down, Louis knew it probably wasn’t. He had known it wasn’t a long term thing, the two of them. They’d never even discussed what exactly they were. Part of that was Louis’ fault. He was sure he’d given off plenty of signals that warned Greg away from even mentioning whatever they had going on and he was far too scared to ask himself as well.

And now, here they were. Louis finishing off some alcoholic treats Greg had left at his place before everything went tits up after a hectic night and Greg was… wherever he was. Doing whatever he was doing. As he continued mostly ignoring Louis, without  _ actually _ ignoring Louis.

Taking a deep breath, Louis nodded to himself before finishing the pop. He had only the slightest beginning of a buzz, and if he was going to deal with the fact he and Greg were done, he was going to need more than just that.

He got up, heading for the freezer for another. There were another four left in there, so maybe Louis could finish them off tonight, allow himself this one night to mope and get drunk, and then he’d move on.

Yes. Get over Greg. Absolutely.


	3. Part 3

**Part 3 - Greg**

Greg was a fucking fake.

He rolled his eyes at himself. He wasn’t, not  _ really, _ but it felt like it when he was coming into the studio, working his dream job, and still having to paste a smile that wasn’t real on his face and act like he was completely okay when he really wasn’t.

There was the slight possibility though that his new production team was going to kill him. He would understand if they did, to be honest. He kind of threw them all under the bus just the day before when he orchestrated his game, Pass the Pasty, whilst live on air and started getting listeners roped into being a part of it right away before they could give him the go ahead or plot how the hell they were going to get an actual pasty safely from Cornwall to Aberdeenshire in what essentially was the radio version of hitch-hiking. 

He thought it was brilliant and clearly the listeners agreed because the feedback was already stellar and the game itself had only kicked off that morning. At any rate, it was keeping him distracted, which was what he needed so he didn’t wallow or focus a bit too much on the fact he felt like he had taken his own heart and smashed it to smithereens.

Greg hated it sometimes, being the nice guy. The good guy. The one to do what he knew was best for everyone, his own feelings and happiness be damned. He really had made the right choice though when he decided to pull away from Louis.

Fuck. It had only been two weeks since he’d stopped reaching out to Louis himself, stopped allowing them to meet up or see each other in any way. Stopped allowing himself to be as open with Louis as he’d always felt the need and desire to be. Two weeks of that hell, and it felt like it had been so much longer. 

Pursing his lips, Greg rolled over in his bed and tried to get comfortable despite the fact he was stupidly sleeping with a t-shirt of Louis’ that smelled like his deodorant and aftershave. He didn’t even remember how he came to be in possession of it, but he wasn’t going to complain now. If all he got to remember this summer was a worn-soft old t-shirt, he supposed he could do worse.

Greg closed his eyes and tried to force himself to be sleepy. It never worked that way, not really, but he’d be damned if he wasn’t going to try. 

As soon as he closed his eyes, though, he saw Grimmy and his nervous face from the day Greg realised it was pointless, trying to hold on to Louis.

Grimmy was back in the studio following his own holiday after finishing his Breakfast Show reign. He was there early for a meeting whilst Greg was staying late to iron out some details for the new version of his podcast and he’d come bounding up to Greg for advice.

Well, it was Grimmy. He wasn’t so much looking for advice as much as confirmation that his plan he’d come up with was as good as he thought it was. The problem was his plan very much affected Greg, but of course he didn’t know that. Had no way of knowing. 

Greg could still hear his voice in his head.  _ I think I’m going to reach out to Louis again, see if I can fix what went wrong.  _

Greg’s heart sank so low, so fast, his vision swam for a moment and he thought he was going to be sick. The thing was, it made sense timing wise. So much of the pressure that caused things to break between them before was all due to a combination of Grimmy’s schedule on the Breakfast Show and Louis’ schedule as he toured and promoted albums basically nonstop. Neither of those played a role in things anymore, and therefore the two largest stumbling blocks for them were removed.

Greg’s mind had whirled as Grimmy nattered on about what had gotten him thinking about it and when he was considering stopping by Louis’ etc. Greg honestly wasn’t listening to him, so he didn’t know what exactly it was that Grimmy was saying, he was too busy thinking about Louis. And Grim.

They were both such different people now than they were before, but in ways that would probably allow them to work together even better than they had originally. 

Sure, they’d both gotten a bit older and matured with the life experiences they had both had, but they’d also both had similar experiences. Both had lost parents in that time. Both had to deal with the comedown of reaching what could potentially be the height of their careers, not to say they wouldn’t still have success, but it had always been Grimmy’s goal to be the host of the Breakfast Show and Louis had done two stadium world tours and defined a generation of pop music. Those were damn significant things in someone’s life and it changed a person going through it.

It took mere moments for Greg to know how it would play out. Louis would always choose Grimmy over Greg. Why wouldn’t he? He and Grimmy had their own long relationship history together. They had a variety of mutual friends that they’d had to slowly find ways to still spend time with while avoiding each other. They wouldn’t have to worry about that anymore.

Meanwhile, what did Greg have to offer? They had their… friendship of sorts, if that’s what it could be called. He wasn’t even sure what they’d developed over those months. It wasn’t a relationship, though. They’d never said the word dating or boyfriends, not even once. They’d so perfectly avoided that, and for good reason. Because it always had been and would be temporary. A mere blip in their life stories.

And they had already reached the end of it.

So yeah. Greg had backed off and he knew he was right in doing so. But fuck, it really  _ really _ hurt.

\- - - -

By the time the entire fanfare and hullabaloo surrounding Pass the Pasty had ended, Greg checked his WhatsApp conversation with Louis that he had muted weeks ago to keep him from answering as soon as Louis messaged. He did it nightly at this point and just scanned through their old messages. It hurt, but it also made him smile remembering how ridiculous and fun he really was. How much Greg had fallen for him without even realising. 

But when he got back to the bottom, he realised he hadn’t heard from Louis in four days.

It had been his plan all along to get Louis to stop trying, stop reaching out at all so as not to prolong things, but as it sank in that it had  _ worked, _ Greg felt a deeper pain than he had yet experienced surrounding the entire situation.

Whatever it was they’d had going was well and truly over. Fuck.

\- - - -

Greg sat and wallowed in front of the television before finally succumbing to what he’d wanted to do since he sat down half an hour ago. He gave up pretending he was actually able to focus on  _ Antiques Roadshow _ and switched it to ITV.

As soon as he did, Louis appeared on screen, giving Simon shit for something. Not too surprising. Simon probably deserved it and Louis was more than happy to dish it out as he could.

Louis looked so natural sitting there beside the likes of Robbie, Ayda, and Simon. He owned it and looked good and confident in doing so. Greg knew he didn’t always feel that way, but he looked it and knew what he was talking about. That was the most important thing anyway when it came to how he’d be interpreted on the show.

Greg easily zoned out the show. Reality telly was not his favourite by any means. He generally avoided it like the plague. Louis was worth it, though, as he sat there with his soft fringe and black t-shirt. 

It was stupid how casual and yet gorgeous he was at all times. This was him in makeup and nice lighting and all, but he still was just as beautiful when he was home, sweaty after a workout or with his hair mussed and lines on his face from how he slept. And now Grimmy was getting to see him like that just like he used to.

Greg furrowed his brows. It was quite odd, actually. Grimmy spoke to Greg about reaching out to Louis over three weeks ago now and he hadn’t heard anything about it since. He and Grim had chatted several times about their shows and adjusting to the new time slots, etc, but Louis hadn’t been brought up once.

That was very unusual for Grimmy. It wasn’t that he was cocky or anything, but he was one who liked sharing his joy and excitement with others because their happiness increased his own. 

Because of this, Greg had definitely expected to hear from Grimmy as soon as he’d talked to Louis, cheering about being taken back with open arms and all the minute details about how they’d work past everything they’d dealt with before. As one of the few that helped support Grimmy through the hardest part of the breakup, he had assumed he would hear about the happiness surrounding their reconciliation.

That was actually an understatement. Greg had thought Grim wouldn’t be able to stop talking about their reconciliation. It was definitely the opposite of nothing, which was what he’d offered Greg since that day in August.

Greg huffed. Maybe it was just still early days and they were taking it slow as they eased back into things. It had been years and, like Greg had considered earlier, they were different people now. It made sense for them to get to know who they are now and what they are like together with all of the changes they’ve both been through before jumping into things fully.

Yes, that was likely what was going on. As Greg studied Louis, he imagined he saw an inner light to him like what he thought  _ he himself _ had sparked within him before. It was probably due to the happiness he was experiencing with all the hopefulness and excitement he felt being back with Grimmy.

Or maybe it was just the lights and some well placed highlighter thanks to his makeup artist.

Okay fine. Maybe it was both. But it was probably Grimmy.

\- - - -

It had been weeks— _ weeks!— _ since the first night Greg had tuned into ITV and realised Grimmy had yet to mention anything about Louis to him.

Since then, Greg had tuned in for the full show every Saturday and Sunday and had even been maybe a little too invested in following Louis’ boys. He had gone so far as to check their social media every day in the hope of catching a glimpse of Louis. 

He was pathetic. He absolutely knew this, but Louis well could have been the love of his life if he’d been given an actual chance at it.

So, driven by his absolute curiosity and need to know something, anything, about Louis’ personal life and the man who was probably making him stupidly happy, Greg stayed late on Monday knowing that was the only day of the week Grimmy consistently made it in more than ten minutes before his production meeting started.

As soon as he saw Grimmy walk onto the floor, Greg picked up his bag and pretended like he had just finished up and was heading out.

“Oh, hey Grim,” Greg called out.

Grimmy’s head popped up from his phone and he gave Greg one of his wide smiles. “Heya, Gregory! How’s your Monday so far? The ten minute takeover this morning was killer to wake up to.”

“Oh, yeah!” Greg enthused, excited to talk about the songs the listeners had requested today. 

Once that conversation started winding down, Greg leaned in and whispered, “So, how’d things go with Louis? I thought I’d have heard by now, but wanted to give you time and privacy and all that if you two decided to take it slow or whatever.”

“Oh, uh,” Grimmy’s smile dimmed and he dropped his eyes to the floor as he shifted his weight a little. He was clearly embarrassed and a bit nervous, which didn’t seem to fit the situation at all. Unless…

Oh my God. Why hadn’t Greg seen it before? Grimmy knew about Louis and Greg messing about. Of course Louis had told him about the two of them, and that was the obvious explanation as to why he’d kept quiet about their getting back together. He probably felt confused or miffed that Greg hadn’t brought it up to him himself and... fucking shit. Greg had mucked this situation up royally, hadn’t he? He was surprised Grimmy hadn’t been acting more awkward or hostile towards him since then considering how jealous he-

“I didn’t really want to follow up, if I was honest. Wanted to save my pride,” Grimmy admitted, finally meeting Greg’s eyes again. 

Just as Greg was about to open his mouth to explain, Grimmy spoke again.

“Didn’t much feel like having to tell you that after finally working up to it he didn’t even let me say my full piece, did he?”

Greg’s mouth snapped shut. Blinking a few times in order to get his focus back on the man in front of him, Greg stood silent. 

When Grimmy clearly wasn’t going to continue talking, Greg realised he had to push for more information. “I’m sorry, what? I just assumed you two…”

“Oh, yeah… well that’s not what happened at all, was it?” Shrugging in his usual self deprecating manner, Grimmy gave him a small smile as he squished up his nose. “We lost our chance when he had our go earlier, I suppose.”

“I suppose,” Greg echoed, absolutely dumbstruck and unable to think of anything more to say.

“Oh, there’s producer James trying to wave me down. Chatting with you got me late again,” Grimmy teased. “I’ll see you later, yeah?”

“Yeah, have a good show,” Greg said as Grimmy waved and made his way across the room.

It wasn’t until Grimmy had turned the corner to the studio DriveTime used that Greg realised he really should be getting home now.

Mind an absolute mess and whirling nonstop, Greg headed towards the lift and made his way home on autopilot as he tried to make sense of what Grimmy had just told him.

\- - - -

Greg had been laying in bed trying to turn his brain off for over an hour now. At this rate he was going to be absolute rubbish for the show tomorrow, but he really was trying. He just couldn’t stop thinking about what the reasons were that Louis didn’t even want to give Grimmy a chance. Everything added up to the two of them getting together and being happy forever. What was Greg missing?

Rolling over to his other side in the hope that without his clock staring him in the face he might have an actual chance at falling asleep. Just as he settled down, he got a small, tempting waft of Louis’ cologne.

Greg smiled and hummed. He’d missed the scent of Louis’ cologne. It was so subtle and…

Wait. Greg blinked awake once more and immediately shifted up so he was on his knees on the bed. 

Why had he smelled Louis’ cologne? It had been ages since Louis had been here and he’d washed his sheets at least twice since then. He was acing this adult thing, honestly. So why was he suddenly able to smell Louis?

Fuck, Greg was legitimately going insane. He had been thinking so much about Louis he was imagining he could smell him now. 

Sighing a bit to himself, Greg climbed off the bed. On the off-chance he would find something he had missed before, he turned on the torch on his phone and ducked down to look beneath his bed. He wasn’t sure what he thought he’d find, but any kind of an excuse for why he might smell a man who hadn’t been in his flat in actual weeks would be wonderful.

For the most part it was fairly boring underneath, though there were quite a few dust bunnies. He really should consider sweeping under here. Just as he was about to get up, Greg saw something white peeking out from behind the leg of his headboard on the other side of the bed. 

After he’d circled the bed, Greg moved the bed a bit and found a t-shirt of Louis’. How it had gotten there was beyond him, but as he held it up to his face it did smell of his cologne and even a touch like his baby powder deodorant. It was probably just because of how it had been wedged between the wall and the headboard, but he was massively pleased it had retained his scent.

Greg froze. 

Louis had turned down Grimmy. Greg didn’t need to stay away if Louis didn’t want him to.

Fuck, except Louis probably  _ did _ want him to, thanks to how Greg had dropped him so quickly. Greg had been an actual knobhead and treated him so poorly. What made him think Louis might actually still want him around after how he’d behaved?

Either way, Greg would never forgive himself if he didn’t at least try. 

Greg climbed back into bed, on Louis’ side this time so he felt even closer to him as he clutched his shirt to his chest. Settling into the bed, Greg felt drowsy for the first time all evening. 

How should he reach out to Louis again? Should he ease back into contact with him, making a stupid excuse for himself in a text? Maybe he should try a phone call. After how he dropped Louis earlier, reaching out in a way a bit more personal than just a text message was probably a good idea. Show he was putting effort in again. 

Greg pouted. God, Louis was going to rip into him so fully, Greg had to be fully prepared for it. He needed to plan exactly what he wanted to say and figure out how to say it if he wanted to have any chance at all. Hell, Grimmy didn’t even get a chance to explain. Greg very well might not even get the phone answered for him. 

As Greg considered all the possibilities for what he could do to show Louis he really wanted to have a chance to try again, maybe even try actually dating this time, he was finally able to fall asleep.

\- - - -

Greg said goodbye to the Breakfast Show team and packed his things in a hurry. He hadn’t been able to focus on anything except Louis the entire show. For all he knew, they were probably happy to see him rushing out of the studio instead of hanging around to talk about how things went like he usually did. He liked analysing the show, talking about what they could do to improve and bring up even more listener participation and interaction. It helped him feel like he wasn’t just holding onto the status quo and was actively trying to improve himself.

As important as the show was to him, though, Louis was even moreso. Greg really had been one step away from falling in love with the man for years, but this summer he well and truly had done it. He’d been in denial at the time, but looking back he knew it was true. And he had to see if Louis was interested at all in giving him a chance to prove himself. 

Greg knew that to do this he needed to go to Louis in person. A text or phone call would never be enough for this. He could only do it face to face.

He had ordered a car for himself and it somehow pulled up right as he reached the kerb. Greg wasn’t really one for superstition, but he felt like there had to be something to karma, and maybe he’d done something good to be lucky enough to have good timing with the car. 

Just as the car pulled back into traffic and Greg was starting to work on his speech for Louis, his phone vibrated.

_ Ant: Are we not recording the podcast then? _

“Fuck,” Greg muttered, scrubbing his face. At least his Uber driver didn’t seem to be a chatty fellow. Should help him be able to record from the car. 

_ Greg: I’m so fucking sorry, had a bit of an emergency, but I could do the links in the car! Want to send me the bits you think we should put in or should I just wing it and keep it general other than Yesterday’s Quiz? _

Whilst he waited for Ant to respond, Greg leaned forward and cleared his throat a bit.

“I’m sorry, but I forgot to record some pieces before I left. Would you mind if I did them now?”

Greg tried to give his most apologetic and winning smile for the driver, but the man didn’t even glance his way.

“Sure, mate. Whatever you need.”

Greg thanked him when he flipped off his music and settled into his seat, hoping it wouldn’t take long to record the pieces.

Of course, Greg’s phone decided to have some issues so he had to do the intro several times before his traveling microphone he always kept in his work bag finally decided to connect. By the time he’d gotten to where he could close the recording, the car had already pulled up to Louis’. Well, he supposed he could always record the last bit before letting Louis know he was there. It would have to do.

“Thank you so much,” Greg thanked as he climbed out and made sure he had everything. “Sorry for being a bore for you today.”

The man shrugged and pulled away as soon as Greg closed the door. 

“Charming,” Greg said with a chuckle. He turned to the gate and bit his lip. He was a bit concerned that Louis might have changed the code, but he was pleased to find he hadn’t and it opened for him right away. That had to be another good sign for him.

Greg sat himself on the steps to Louis’ porch in order to record the last piece missing.

“And there you have it. The glorious rundown of today’s mess of a show, thanks to yours truly. Massive thanks to Ant for keeping me in line and reminding me of all my responsibilities. I don’t mean to forget, I’m just still getting used to this daily podcast thing. We’ll get there, we’ll get there.” 

Greg paused and looked at the lovely autumnal plants that were growing beside where he was sat before he realised how creepy he was being. He was literally just sat there and Louis had no idea. 

“Anyway,” Greg said, clearing his throat, “I’ve been in the garden of my destination for long enough to be quite awkward now, so I’m going to let you go. Thank you for listening again, I hope we could help you smile a bit with our random musings. Have a good rest of your day, and we’ll see you tomorrow!” Greg squished his face up a bit when he realised what he’d said. “Well, we won’t really  _ see _ you, will we? But you’ll hear us, either way. Hopefully. Assuming you listen again. Okay, you know what? I’m ending there. Bye!”

Taking a deep breath after he’d finished his blathering, he stopped the recording and set the permissions as needed so Ant could access them and fired off a text to him.

Finally done with all his work commitments for the day, Greg locked his phone and unclipped his microphone, winding it around his fingers and sticking it back into it’s special pocket in his bag. 

And then, Greg was still. It was amazing how quiet it was when he let himself just be.

“What the fuck are you doing here, Greg?”

Greg stiffened, his eyes squeezing shut as he winced.

“Kind of was hoping you wouldn’t notice I was here until I had knocked,” Greg admitted as he stood up and turned around.

Louis was glorious, standing in his doorway, leaned against the door jam. He had his arms folded, but Greg could still tell he had his jumper pulled down over his hands and he was wearing his favourite white pair of joggers. He looked warm and comfortable and gorgeous.

Even with the unimpressed stare he was currently giving Greg.

“You didn’t answer my question,” he said, voice flat. “And does no one use a phone anymore?” 

That question seemed to do it. Louis was never really one for holding back, much less when he was angry or hurt or frustrated, and now the dam seemed to be let loose. He might have been almost emotionless before, but now he stood up straight and got more animated, to the point of being over the top and overtly sarcastic. 

“I mean, is there some sort of  _ trend _ I should know about?”

Greg furrowed his brow. “I’m sorry, what?” He’d expected Louis to jump right into it, but Louis wasn’t making any sense as of yet.

“I want to know if this,” Louis said, gesturing to Greg as well as the world at large, it seemed, “is a trend. Do I need to warn my sisters? Have the planets aligned in some magical way that means that men we thought were done with us suddenly decide to just show up at our door without any warning? Because if so, then I really need to make sure they are prepared for some of the dicks they’ve seen in the past to pop back up again.”

“No, no,” Greg said, trying to insert himself a bit before Louis got going so far away from the point Greg was there to make that he could never bring them back to it. “It’s not like that…”

“Right, well then why are you here? It’s not like you  _ left _ anything here,” Louis said with a bit of bite. “I mean, not anything you haven’t needed in the past month or however long it’s been, so I don’t see why you waited until now to suddenly ask for it. And without warning or anything. I mean, if you wanted something you left behind so bad, you could have texted or just not waited five bloody weeks before you—”

“Hang on,” Greg interrupted again, but this time he was feeling a bit smug. The way Louis was ranting made it seem like he actually left something of his at Louis’. Then again, he had only just found Louis’ top, so it was definitely possible. “Did I leave something of mine here?”

Louis shifted, looking a bit cagey before he finally glanced back at Greg. “No. Course not.”

“Uh huh…” Greg said, narrowing his eyes. 

Louis rolled his and they stood in silence for a moment, just taking each other in.

Huffing a sigh, Louis arched his brow and folded his arms again. “Seriously, Greg. Why are you here?”

“Why didn’t you give Grimmy a chance?”

It was like the words left his mouth of their own accord. Greg hadn’t even meant to outright ask the question, though it had been something he was wondering about. He wanted to ease into it and see if Louis was going to give his side of the story without Greg having to pry a bit. 

Too late for that. He couldn’t shove the words back into his mouth even if he tried.

Louis, for his own part, couldn’t meet Greg’s eyes anymore. He dropped his gaze to the porch as his cheeks turned a bit pink. Giving a little shrug, Louis replied so quietly Greg almost missed it.

“I’ve changed.”

Greg studied Louis in silence, waiting to see if he would say anything more. 

“Changed?” Greg asked gently, taking a step closer. 

“Yeah,” Louis said with a nod. “If Nick had asked even six months ago, I probably would have said yes without hesitation. But… well…” Louis bit his lip before letting it go with a sigh. He looked up at Greg and gave him a wry, embarrassed grin before shaking his head.

“But you changed,” Greg repeated, to finish the thought. “You changed and… you don’t want Grim anymore?”

Louis nodded slowly.

God, Louis was so fucking frustrating. The man never shut up when he wanted him to be quiet, but as soon as Greg was trying to delve into something important and get information out of him, it was like trying to pry open a locked box. Greg knew what he hoped was the reason for Louis changing his mind, but he needed Louis to actually say it. There would be absolutely no assumptions or discussions being glossed over this time around.

Well. If there  _ was _ a this time around.

“So,” Greg drew out before narrowing his eyes. “What changed, exactly?”

“Oh, fuck off,” Louis said, giving a disbelieving laugh. “You did, you twat. You changed everything.”

Greg couldn’t hold back anymore. He rushed up the steps, pulled Louis into him, and gave him a deep kiss. Greg’s brain only kicked back into gear as he realised Louis was still rigid in his arms, though he was slowly relaxing into him and was definitely kissing him back.

“Fuck,” Louis muttered as Greg pulled back to apologise. “The fuck was that?”

“Sorry,” Greg rushed out. They were still standing close, Greg unable to let go of Louis now that he was holding him again. “I meant to say so much more and apologise for everything first, but…”

“But you couldn’t resist me wearing some old joggers?” Louis asked, smirking even as he pulled himself away from where Greg was standing. His smile faded as he studied Greg more, and Greg just hoped he got the chance to say what he needed to.. “You’re right, though. We have a lot to discuss. Are you going to come in, or…?”

Greg sighed with relief at being allowed to enter and nodded. 

Louis pursed his lips as if he’d made a decision and nodded towards the kitchen. “Come in, then. Can have some tea and, if it gets really tense, maybe a smoke.”

Greg chuckled softly. “Don’t have to be with your lads? They’ve been doing so well.”

Louis looked over his shoulder appraisingly at Greg as he turned on the kettle. “You been watching?”

Greg nodded and rubbed at his nose self consciously. He decided he might as well go all in and be completely honest. He didn’t really have anything to lose. “Yeah… I missed you and it was the only way I could think of to see you.”

“You hate those kinds of shows,” Louis said, smiling to himself as he got mugs out.

Greg pulled down his tea he’d put on the top shelf specifically so Louis couldn’t throw it away. And handed Louis his own tin.

“They’re absolute shit,” Greg agreed happily as he watched Louis put in his milk.

The kettle started rumbling and Louis turned it off before it could get too hot and poured the water in.

“They’re filming some things elsewhere today so I told them all I’d meet up with them tomorrow night instead.” Louis took a breath, held it as if he was trying to decide whether to ask something or not before he finally did it. 

Greg had seen him hesitate in the same way enough times before, he just wasn’t used to it being about something with the two of them. It was usually during a phone call for work. It hurt a bit to realise Louis was using those same tactics to give himself more time to think during a conversation with Greg now. It really spoke to the loss of openness between them. 

Hah. As open as they had been without ever really talking about anything. The situation had seemed so straight forward before, but it became more and more convoluted by the moment as he thought about it.

“If you were really that desperate, then why did you do…” Louis waved his hand around and Greg knew exactly what he meant.

“Well, I thought I was bowing out and letting the better man win, didn’t I?”

Louis looked up at Greg, clearly confused. “What are you on about? You’d been acting off for weeks before Nick ever showed up.”

“I’d chatted with him and he’d mentioned he was going to reach out and see about you two,” Greg admitted, taking his perfectly made tea from Louis and followed him into the living room. “I saw you two the first time around. It seemed like all the big issues you two had didn’t really exist anymore.”

“So you just dropped me without even giving me a say in the matter?”

Greg rolled his eyes. “Oh, come on now. We never talked about anything. I had no idea what you expected from any of this. I still don’t. Not really.”

“Yeah, well you leaving just proved what I thought  _ you _ expected from it.” 

Greg’s heart nearly stopped. “Shit,” he whispered, eyes wide. “What did you think I was here for?”

Louis stared hard into his tea, tapping against the mug with his finger. Taking a deep breath, he muttered, “Figured you thought it was all just a fun shag with a washed up pop star or something and when you caught on that I was a massive mess you’d leave.”

“Lou, no,” Greg said, immediately leaning closer to Louis’ end of the couch, arm outstretched. “No,” he said more emphatically. “Never. I just figured you were letting me fill in until someone better came along. Someone who actually deserved you.”

“Gregory,” Louis said with a bit of a laugh before growling loudly at the ceiling. He kept laughing, his head propped against the back of the couch and he tilted his head so he could look at Greg, the smile still in place. “God, can you believe how stupid we’ve both been?”

“Honestly?” Greg asked, as he really thought about it. “Yeah. I absolutely can. We’re both fucking stupid.”

Louis started laughing again. “Fucking missed you too, by the way.”

Greg smiled. “Good.” 

They sat in quiet for a bit and Greg felt… good. Content. There was so much more to still discuss, but knowing they were thinking such similar things about each other was really comforting for some reason.

There was just one more thing he wanted to be sure to say tonight. He was afraid if he didn’t now, he might not get it out when they talk more about everything that had happened, and Greg wanted to be sure he was clear from the start with this.

“Hey, we can talk more later and all, but I just want you to know that I know I’m nowhere near good enough for you. If Grim wasn’t even able to hold onto you, I have zero expectations that I’ll be able to, but I want to try.”

Louis placed his tea on the coffee table before taking Greg’s and doing the same. He then shuffled up into Greg’s space, then threw one leg across his lap so he was sitting, straddling Greg.

“You’re so much better than I deserve, but I’m going to hold onto you as hard as I can for as long as you’ll let me,” Louis whispered.

“Promise?” Greg asked, keeping his voice low to match Louis’. This moment felt important, fragile. It deserved hushed tones in respect.

“Promise.”

Louis leaned in and sealed their words between them with a kiss. Greg had never felt so fully present in a moment like he did then. Not even their first few times together. It was like this new chance, this opportunity to try again allowed him to finally be right there with Louis.

Except, they hadn’t actually said that yet.

“Hey,” Greg asked as he pulled away from Louis’ demanding mouth. He wanted nothing more than to keep going, but he needed to make sure they really were, absolutely, one-hundred percent on the same page.

“Hmm?” Louis hummed as he moved down and bit at the sensitive skin by his jaw.

Greg hissed before he swallowed a moan when Louis started sucking a love bite onto his neck, close to his t-shirt’s neckline. “Just wanted to be sure, we’re exclusive, yeah? Like, we’re proper boyfriends this time around and dating and all that labels for each other and stuff?”

Louis paused his ministrations before leaning his forehead against Greg’s shoulder, his back bouncing beneath Greg’s hands as he laughed.

He pulled back and sat up, looking at Greg in amusement before he smiled so wide Greg could hardly see his eyes. 

“Yes, Gregory. I’d very much like to call you my boyfriend and would be well chuffed if you called me yours. I might even want to tell my sisters about you, if you’re alright with that.”

Greg smiled, taking a big cleansing breath. Thank fuck, they truly were on the same page. 

“Yeah. Might even tell my mum and dad about you. They might question your decision making skills in choosing an idiot like me, but one never can account for taste,” Greg teased with a wink.

“Fuck off,” Louis said, laughing. He leaned in for a quick kiss before he pulled away again and stood up.

Greg wanted to whine and make grabby hands as Louis quickly walked out of his arm’s reach, but he was determined to not push Louis too hard. Maybe Louis was alright with these developments and wanted the same things, but he needed to punish Greg a little more before letting him back in.

Louis stopped before leaving the room and looked back at Greg expectantly. “Well?” 

“Well?” Greg parroted back, confused what Louis was implying.

“Not gonna fuck myself when I’ve got a boyfriend here who’s able to do it so much better, yeah?”

“Fuck,” Greg said as he scrambled to his feet and started chasing Louis upstairs to his bedroom. 

He definitely wouldn’t say no to that. They could finish their chat later. They had lost time to make up for.

\- - - -

Greg’s alarm blared and he had never wanted to throw his phone across the room more than he did at that very moment. 

“Fucking hell, turn that damn thing off, lad,” Louis groaned before rolling away from Greg and more fully onto his own side of the bed.

Greg did as he was told and quickly did the math in his head. He could definitely wear yesterday’s jeans, but he’d need to use one of Louis’ oversized jumpers or something. He definitely didn’t have time to get home, shower, get ready, and head into work without being late and he could not skip any of those particular steps this morning. 

That said, Louis’ was actually closer to Broadcasting House than his own flat, so that was good.

“Are you going to cuddle me a bit more before leaving?” Louis slurred into his pillow.

Greg chuckled and made sure his back up alarm was also set before relaxing into the bed again and pulling Louis into his chest. “Absolutely.”

“Been thinking,” Louis mumbled. “Think we should just keep it to family and close friends for now, yeah? Take it a bit slow at first?”

“Yeah,” Greg agreed before leaning in to kiss. 

He and Louis had talked a lot yesterday, enough that Greg had cancelled the rest of his plans for the evening so he and Louis could make sure to finish working things out. It had been worth it, but there were still some bits they needed to work out, and he was sure they’d be doing so at various points over the next few weeks. It was just how this kind of thing worked, he imagined.

Greg was definitely going to tell his mum and dad. There were also a handful of others he was close enough with to trust with this kind of thing, but not many. There was one he’d normally tell that he wasn’t sure he should, though.

“About Grimmy, though…” Greg said slowly.

Louis kept breathing slowly, not saying anything for long enough Greg wondered if he’d fallen asleep again.

“I don’t want to hurt his feelings or make things awkward for you two,” he finally answered, sounding more awake than he had yet. “I already feel bad about being the cause for him and Harry not being as close anymore. I don’t think I could forgive myself if it caused an issue with you two as well.”

“Hey,” Greg said before leaning in to kiss Louis’ bare shoulder and then pulling him into his chest even more. “None of that. I agree, though. We’ll tell him eventually, but it’s early days still. No need to potentially cause issues when who knows how this will all go, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Louis said, before turning his own head and kissing Greg’s forearm, the only part of Greg he could easily reach in their position. “We’re gonna last, though. I can feel it.”

Greg tucked his face into Louis’ hair and smiled. “Me too,” he admitted.

Kissing Louis’ head gently, Greg was about to ease himself down when his backup alarm started playing.

“You’re seriously going to have to change those songs if you’re expecting to sleep over on worknights,” Louis groaned. “They’re jarring and horrible for this ridiculous hour of the day.”

“That’s how they wake me up,” Greg said with a laugh. “What else is going to get me out of bed this early?”

Louis whined as he rolled onto his stomach. Greg climbed out of bed and headed to the shower.

“I’m serious!” he called. “I won’t let you into this bedroom if you don’t change them.”

“I know,” Greg laughed. “I’ll work on it today. By the way, think you have a jumper that might cover me decently for work? Didn’t exactly bring a change of clothes with me.”

“I can find something, I’m sure,” Louis mumbled.

It was enough for Greg to happily jump into the shower.

When he got out, he found one of his favourite t-shirts sitting by the sink. He smiled when he realised he hadn’t seen it in awhile, probably over a month and it must have been what Louis was referring to last night. He held it up to give it a little sniff and, just as he suspected, it smelled faintly of Louis. At least he hadn’t been the only one taking comfort in the other’s clothing while they were separated. 

Tugging it on, Greg sighed happily. He should probably return Louis’ t-shirt too, but he could worry about that later. He had a boyfriend to say a proper good morning to and a Breakfast Show to do.

\- - - -

**Louis**

From the moment Louis had met the various Radio 1 DJs, he’d known they were a special lot. They were charismatic, incredibly talented, and self-deprecating in the most endearing way.

But Nick. Nick was  _ more. _

Of course, as time went on the fact that he  _ was _ more made things all that much more difficult until in the end it was too much. 

Looking beside him in the Uber, Louis couldn’t help but smile. When things with Nick had gone down in flames, he’d been beyond sad and unsure if he wanted to get over it. Thankfully another tall, charming, and ridiculous Radio 1 DJ was there to help pull him out of it eventually. He ended up being better for Louis than he ever could have imagined too.

Greg was currently arguing with his producer regarding another over the top idea he’d had during the show that morning and yes, Louis loved him, but his producer was right this time. Louis would never tell Greg that, but he also knew Greg wouldn’t ask. He’d seen Louis’ opinion on the matter clear as day the moment he got home that morning. Louis had only shook his head with an arched brow, and Greg waved him off, heading to the bedroom to change.

“Oh,  _ fine. _ You just had to bring Ben into this, didn’t you?” Greg leaned his head against the back of the seat where he’d slumped down and covered his eyes with his hands. “I know he’s the boss, but that doesn’t mean…” 

Louis nudged Greg when the car stopped and he shot up so fast he hit his head on the roof of the car. Louis did the best he could to stifle his laughter as Greg winced and rubbed his head. 

“Shit. We’re here, I’ve got to go. So sorry, got to run! I love you... shut up! I do! Okay, whatever. Got to wish Grim and Mesh a happy birthday slash anniversary slash I don’t even really know what we’re celebrating but it’s important and I’ve brought them face masks and wine so… Yes exactly. Okay, see you in the morning. Yes, I promise I’ll apologise on air and clear things up. Whatever, you draft it and I’ll say it. Yes. Okay. Okay, bye.”

As Greg hung up, Louis handed Greg the ridiculous gift he’d pulled together paired with what Louis knew was Nick’s favourite wine and smiled. 

“It’s Nick’s birthday, by the way. I think their anniversary is in the fall.”

“You think I don’t know that?” Greg asked, making a face. “I just act like that so James would leave me alone. He was well up my arse and I needed to distract him somehow.”

Louis laughed and held the door as Greg thanked the driver and climbed out.

“Well,” Greg said before reaching down and taking Louis’ hand in his own. “You ready?”

Louis squished up his face and turned to Nick’s building. He was, but he also wasn’t positive what Nick’s reaction would be. After all, he’d met Mesh shortly after Louis had rejected him and it seemed like the two of them really were happy together, but… he worried was all.

“As ready as I’m going to be.”

Greg had been easing Nick into the fact he had a long term boyfriend for a while now and Nick had been begging to meet him. The lockdown had helped with excuses for not meeting, but now they were allowed small gatherings with friends and Nick’s birthday was here, that was what Nick had asked for from Greg. To meet his boyfriend.

Louis hoped he wouldn’t regret it.

Walking up to the door, they couldn’t even knock before they heard the dogs barking. As soon as Mesh opened the door his jaw dropped and eyes went wide before a smile lit up his face.

“Oh my God, Nick’s going to die,” he squealed before pulling the two of them inside and hugging both of them. “Fuck fuck fuck, this is even better than my guess of it being Harry!”

Louis couldn’t help his squawk. “You really guessed it was Harry?”

“Oh yeah,” Mesh confided. “They’ve been talking more again recently but he’s been acting cagey like he’s holding something back. Now I’m wondering if it was really about you two. Nice to meet you, by the way.”

Louis laughed and nodded. “Same.”

“What’s all the laughing about, why won’t you just walk in and get the surprise over with…” Nick’s voice faded as he saw the group standing by the door. “I cannot believe Mesh was almost fucking right, what the fuck.”

“Surprise?” Greg said at the same time Louis pointed to the bag in Greg’s hand and said, “We brought wine!”

Nick bent over laughing, hands on his knees for a moment before he rushed up to them and pulled them both into a hug. 

“What the actual fuck!” Nick kept laughing, finally pulling back, but keeping them within arm’s length. “You kept me guessing the whole time and I was trying to figure out who it was and it was Louis? Well, that does make sense. You were gone over him from the moment he first came by the studios, weren’t you?”

Louis smirked and looked at Greg who was clearly flustered and unsure what to say.

“Alright, that’s enough,” Louis said, shooing them towards the living room. “Where are your gorgeous dogs? I haven’t met Stinky and I’m fucking excited. That’s the real reason I’m here. Nothing to do with your birthday.”

As Greg and Nick bantered and Mesh played with the dogs with Louis, he looked around and realised there was no awkwardness like he’d feared there would be. Things were more than comfortable and he dared to think they even felt natural, the four of them together as they were.

Maybe this was a good omen for him, for  _ them. _ A sign that the ring sitting in Louis’ sock drawer back home would be accepted. 

Louis had been waiting for the right time but had slowly been growing more anxious to just pop the question and, with this reunion having gone well, he couldn’t help but think that maybe he shouldn’t wait much longer.

As Greg laughed and turned to Louis with a bright smile Louis had to mirror back to him, a warmth settled in his belly. A surety. 

Maybe he would even ask tonight. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, I hope you liked it! If you did, please consider leaving a nice comment and/or kudos and maybe even a reblog of the [fic post](https://lululawrence.tumblr.com/post/629252735718588417/im-ready-for-the-worst-by-lululawrence-greg)!


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